mental muslima

I've made the move...

2006-10-31T19:57:00.000-08:00

...over to wordpress. My new blog address is http://yearningforjennah.com If you aren't automatically rerouted, click here . Please update your blogrolls accordingly, thanks....

Eid Mubarak

2006-10-27T17:55:00.000-07:00

Eid Mubarak...Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, La Illaha Il Allah, wa lillahi Hamd.

Happy Eid, to my Muslim and non-Muslim readers. God is great. I'm sorry it took me so long to give the greeting, but things have been busy. Eid came on Monday, here, and it was somewhat melancholy. On one hand I was very happy to break the fast, but on the other hand, Ramadan is a time when we feel closest to Allah (swt) and I was sad to see it go. Inshallah, we will live to see many more Ramadans.

I just wanted to share my ingredients for a merry Eid, and some pictures

1. Hubby must take off the day of Eid.

2.We must attend Eid prayers as a family.

3. We must arrive on time for the prayer.

4. Everyone must wear their best clothes, especially my Zakiyyah.

5. After Eid, we must meet with extended family for Banana Pancakes.

6. We must watch the look on Zakiyyah's face, when she is scared by Magic Rattle and Ride Pooh

Here are some pics for your enjoyment.

Here are my new Eid shoes. Don't worry, sisters, my skirt was so long they hardly showed.

Zakiyyah's Eid oufit #1

Zakiyyah's Eid outfit #2. Yes, my sweety has two Eid 'fits, cuz she is fly like that. Oh, I almost forgot, thanks Musulmana for giving me this outfit. I'm so happy she got to wear it before it joins the huge box of too-small outfits ;-)

I hope your Eid was as good or better than mine. Eid Mubarak, Eid Kareem, Eid Sa'eed!!!

Don''t Be a Chimp

2006-10-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

When I was younger my father always used to tell me this story about a Muslim brother he once knew that had a chimp as a pet. But this chimp was no ordinary chimpanzee. This chimp could pray. According to my father, the brother had taught his pet how to do wudhu(cleansing) and how to raise his hands in takbeer as soon as he heard the words Allahu Akbar (God is Greatest). My siblings and I would always get a kick out of my father's descrptions of the chimp splashing around in the water while performing wudhu, and how he could do all of the movements of Salat from takbeer to salaams. I still wonder if the story is true or not, my father has a way with tall tales, but now I realize whether it is true or not, there is a moral to the story.

That chimp was only mimicking what he saw others doing. As an animal, he didn't understand the meaning behind the movements, or why he was performing them. Animals have their own form of worship, and as humans we have ours. But think about it...how often have you allowed yourself to become the chimp in your worship? How often have you simply gone through the motions without any reflection? How often have you allowed the problems and trials of this world to eliminate the khushu from your salat? We're all guilty of it, I'm afraid.

I remember when I was younger I didn't take prayer seriously. I guess I didn't get the "point." I didn't understand Arabic, and the words of Qur'an meant nothing to me, may Allah forgive me. It wasn't until I actually started learning the meaning behind the words and the movements that I began to recognize the importance of them. Now whenever I pray, I try to remember that I am bowing down to my Creator. I try to remind myself of the meanings behind the words and to recite them as though I am in Allah's presence. However, I'm not perfect. Sometimes, I catch myself rushing through my prayers without any reflection. It saddens me...

Each month we move further from Allah (swt). Each month we move closer towards the haram and further away from the halal. We rely on Ramadan to bring us back, to bring us closer to Allah(swt). We depend on Ramadan to remind us of Allah's mercy, to show us what we are capable of. Now that Ramadan is coming to a close, let's make an intention to not allow ourselves to continue to be the chimp. Let's put our full selves, mind, body, and spirit, into our worship. Let's give Allah(swt) all that our Creator is due. May Allah make it easy for us, inshallah....

You don't know your own strength

2006-10-05T18:05:00.000-07:00

God does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear: in his favour shall be whatever good he does, and against him whatever evil he does. O our Sustainer! Take us not to task if we forget or unwittingly do wrong! "O our Sustainer! Lay not upon us a burden such as Thou didst lay upon those who lived before us! O our Sustainer! Make us not bear burdens which we have no strength to bear! "And efface Thou our sins, and grant us forgiveness, and bestow Thy mercy upon us! Thou art our Lord Supreme: succour us, then, against people who deny the truth!" (Al-Quran 2:286)

I'm learning something this Ramadan. I'm learning something besides the all important lessons of self-restraint, belief in Allah (swt) and mercy towards the poor. I'm learning about my own inner strength. I'm learning that Allah (swt) has inundated women with an immense power...the power to give birth, care for her child and nourish that child with her own milk. I have been fasting and nursing this Ramadan, and it is teaching much about my own abilities.

If you have never nursed a baby, let me first tell you that it is not an easy feat in and of itself. In order for a woman to produce enough milk to nourish a baby, she must consume extra calories and up her fluid intake. When I first had Zakiyyah, I would never have been able to imagine fasting and nursing her. I was thirsty constantly. I would fill a 32oz. bottle of water and finish it off before lunch. I was also extremely hungry; I ate more than I had when I was pregnant (if that's possible). As Ramadan neared, I began to feel apprehensive about it. While I didn't want to miss another Ramadan, I didn't want to tax my body too much, or put Zakiyyah's health in danger by lowering my milk supply. I read many Fatawa, and spoke to women who done it themselves. Some women told me that it was impossible, some thought I was crazy for even considering it, some said it was manageable, but definitely a challenge. I began to think that many women in impoverished countries nurse their children and survive while eating much less than I would even while fasting. That changed my point of view. Eventually, I decided to at least give it a try, if I failed I vowed that I would just say "Alhumdullilah," and make up the days later. I also made du'ah that Allah (swt) would make it easy for me.

Before Ramadan started, I began to improve my diet, in hopes of preparing myself for the challenge. I began to up my water supply and eat more whole grains and protein. I went to my local Farmer's Market and bought whole grain breads and Organic Dairy products. The first day of the fast, I drank a lot of water during Suhur, and ate whole grain bread, and a bowl of oatmeal with milk. Again, I made du'ah.

I have been fasting since, with the exception of one day when I felt sick. As we near the halfway point, I am so greatful that Allah (swt) has placed within me the ability to fast and nurse. It has not been easy, but it is not unbearable, alhumdollilah. Most importantly, my milk supply has not noticably diminished. I hope and pray that I will be able to continue, and that my fast will be accepted. (amin)

Thank Allah for your Parched Mouth...

2006-10-01T22:50:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I went to my Sunday morning class. Alhumdullilah, I always find something enlightening from the teacher. On this day, we went over Hadith Al-Qudsi hadith #6:

On the authority of Aboo `Abdillaah an-Nu`maan the son of Basheer (radiAllaahu 'anhumaa), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) say:

That which is lawful is clear and that which is unlawful is clear, and between the two of them are doubtful matters about which many people do not know. Thus he who avoids doubtful matters clears himself in regard to his religion and his honour, but he who falls into doubtful matters [eventually] falls into that which is unlawful, like the shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary, all but grazing therein. Truly every king has a sanctuary, and truly Allaah's sanctuary is His prohibitions. Truly in the body there is a morsel of flesh, which, if it be whole, all the body is whole, and which, if it is diseased, all of [the body] is diseased. Truly, it is the heart. [Related by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.]

The Shaykh then went on to explain that some people know in their hearts what is Al-Halal and what is Al-Haram, and they continue to exceed the limits set down by Allah (swt). They begin to commit Makhruh acts, and eventually those aren't even enough for them. Eventually, they are doing Haram openly. It is a slippery slope. Anyway, we were in the middle of the Hadith portion of the class when a new student walked in.

She sat next to me, and I immediately noticed something "off" about her. She was dressed sort of haphazardly. She wore a hijab, but it looked like she had just thrown her outfit together. She, what can I say?, she didn't smell too nice. Conversely, she had a very clear, brown complexion and nice teeth. I used to wear braces when I was a teenager, and one of the first things I notice about people are their teeth, and hers were even, straight and white.

I noticed also, that she was very figgety. Soon after she came into the class, she suddenly got up and left. The shaykh hadn't finished class yet, so I went after her.

I followed her outside and asked her if she was coming back in. She said she would, and she said, "Are we allowed to ask questions in this class?" I answered that she was allowed to ask any questions she needed to. After a few minutes she came back into the class.

After the Hadith section of the class, we began to talk about Fiqh of fasting, and the sister raises her hand. She says, "If someone has a medical condition, where they're not obligated to fast...or pray...should they still fast or would it be wrong to fast?" I could see that the sister truly wanted guidance, and had come to the class seeking just that.

I immediately start thinking about what kind of a health condition she could have. She appears pretty healthy. But looks only tell part of the story.

The shaykh said, "I can't answer the question until I know the nature of the illness."

She says, "What if someone were Bi-Polar, and they have to take medicines to control it, and if they aren't sure what fasting will do to their...balance?"

The Shaykh was clearly thrown for a loop. He had a hard time advising her, he tried giving her nasihah, but he had to eventually advise her to consult her doctor.

Imagine if you couldn't fast? What if your health absolutely prevented you from doing so? Wouldn't you crave the days when you were able to fast? Yes, Allah (swt) is Merciful, those who can't fast can feed a poor or fasting person, but just the act of fasting brings us closer to Allah, and that bond is hard to duplicate.

What if each day it was a challenge just to gain control of reality? What if you struggled just to make sense of this world? Allah has indeed placed a great test upon those who struggle with Mental Health issues. Inshallah, they will pass that test.

Everyday, we take for granted our fasting. Every year we take for granted that we will be granted another Ramadan. What if this is our last? What if today is our last day on this Earth? What if next year we are unable to fulfill the fast?

May we all take advantage of this Ramadan, as if it were our last one upon this Earth. May Allah accept our fast, Salah, and Du'ah this Ramadan (amin).

"Jesus Camp"

2006-09-28T19:03:00.000-07:00

A mountainous woman of indefatigable good cheer, Ms. Fischer makes no bones about her expectation that the growing evangelical movement in the United States will one day end the constitutional ban separating church and state. And as the movie explores her highly effective methods of mobilizing God’s army, that expectation seems reasonable.

"Jesus Camp" is a documentary film about a children's camp for Evangelical Christians called, "Kids On Fire." The leader of the group, "... compares Kids on Fire to militant Palestinian training camps in the Middle East that instill an aggressive Islamist fundamentalism."

This is a Christian group that is calling for an end to the division of church and state. The group, which targets children under 13, call themselves "Soldiers in God's Army." The group teaches the children to practice war dances, oh yeah, and they pray to a cardboard cut-out of President Bush.

If this was a group of Muslims, they would have been disbanded before they even got off the ground. Has America forgotten about Timothy McVeigh? I think American's have forgotten that the most insidious enemy is that which comes from within. This administration has allowed it's xenophobic views to blind them to organizations such as this. Let's hope that the Bush adminstration takes a break from freeing Iraq," long enough to save this society from Christian Radicals.

For More Info:

N.Y Times Review

new blog

2006-09-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

Myself and a few other bloggers have started a Ramadan Blog. It's called Empty Stomach Full Heart Check it out!

A Ramadan Primer

2006-09-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

I know that not everyone who reads my blog is Muslim. So, I wanted to explain in laymans terms, the significance of Ramadan. I apologize if I have said anything wrong, or left anything out.

The month of Ramadan is the 9th month in the Lunar calendar. It is also the month that Muslims believe that the Holy Qur'an began to be revealed to the Prophet Muhammad (saws). Muslims believe that Ramadan is the holiest of months.

During the month of Ramadan, Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset. During daylight hours, Muslims obstain from food, drink, sexual relations, idle chat, and loss of temper. Those who are sick, travelling or pregnant are exempt from the fast, but must fast those days later. It says in the Holy Qur'an that fasting is prescribed to us so that we may learn self restraint.

After the fast is broken, a meal called Iftar is eaten. Iftar is often eaten at the mosque, with fellow Muslims.

It is hard to describe the joy that Muslims feel when the month of Ramadan begins. Muslims believe that if one fasts the entire month of Ramadan, then that person's sins from the previous year will be forgiven.

During Ramadan, Muslims preform a special prayer, called Taraweeh. Taraweeh is preformed each night during Ramadan, it consists of 8 or 20 Rakaah, or movements. Each night a section, or Juz, of Qur'an is recited, so that by the end of the month the entire Qur'an will have been recited.

During Ramadan, Muslims are also encouraged to give to charity and feed poor or fasting persons.

After Ramadan is over, a celebration called Eid-Ul-Fitr occurs. On this day Muslims have a special prayer, and give to charity, have parties, and EAT.

Ramadan Mubarak

2006-09-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, Ramadan has arrived once again. Thank Allah. I am in a much better condition this Ramadan than I was in last Ramadan. My family has mostly recovered from Katrina, Zakiyyah is here, and overall we are doing pretty well. Here is how my Ramadan has been going so far:

The first night of Ramadan we went to Taraweeh prayers. I was a little apprehensive about taking Zakiyyah with me, but alhumdullilah, she was a doll. I sat her on a blanket and gave her a few toys and a sippy cup of diluted apple juice and she was great.

We were in the middle of Taraweeh, when a sister arrived with her two children. One was very young, only a few months old, and the other was a little girl, of about 2. Well, as I was praying, I saw the little girl approach Zakiyyah, she kisses her cheek and then out of nowhere she BITES her. Yes, she bit my habibaty. I was so upset. I felt so bad for my baby. She didn't know what hit her. I don't blame the mother, she was just trying to pray as well, but I still felt bad for my baby.

Anyway, after some hugs and kisses she recovered nicely.

After reading many fatwas and hearing the experiences of many mothers, I decided to try to fast while nursing. I must admit, it hasn't been that bad. I have been drinking PLENTY of water, and trying to eat good suhurs. I have been eating lots of whole grains, oatmeal, and milk. It doesn't seem to have effected my supply, alhumdollilah. I also haven't had any dizzyness, which is truly a gift from Allah. The only thing that is different is that I have been really tired. I hope my energy comes back. Maybe I'll make cook some spinach for iftar, try to bulk up on the iron.

On Sunday night, we decided to go to a new Masjid to break our fast. Alhumdollilah, I am glad we did. This masjid was full of light. What I love about this masjid was that there were so many different races and nationalities present. There were East Africans, African-Americans, Arabs, Indo-Paks you name it.

After Ishaa prayer, I had to leave, and a sister I had never even met before tried to convince me to stay for Taraweeh. I explained that I didn't want Zakiyyah to interrupt anyone's prayers. She replied, "But how will she learn." All to often when you attend a new masjid your made to feel like an outsider. Let's face it many Muslims are xenophobic, but not here. I was greeted with a smile and kind words....and they LOVED Zakiyyah. That was great, Inshallah, I will attend their Taraweeh tonight.

Anyway, Ramadan Mubarak...

Who are the Real Terrorists?

2006-09-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

This is a poem I wrote. I took it down becuase some people didn't like it, but I decided I don't care. If you don't like it, tough noogies...

Who are the Real Terrorists?

2973 Americans died on 9/11
suicide bombers did the job
they called them "terrorists"

they launched an offensive
Proclaimed Iraq free
48,000 Iraqis died
3,015 Americans gave their lives

Dead...yet, Free?
Who are the real terrorists?

Americans are called people
Iraqis are "insurgents"... "terrorists" ..."islamists"...inhuman
They dehumanize them, "abu ghraib" them
Rape, murder, humiliate them

Empathy only counts when the victims look like you...
speak your language...
drink Coca Cola and wear Levi's Jeans...

48,000 Iraqis
what is the rate of exchange for Iraqis lives vs. Americans
the going rate is 16:1

a purple stained finger doesn't replace my...
mother, sister, father, brother...friend

If you back me against a wall...
I will come out swinging...
they call me a terrorist...an islamist...an insurgent

yet...48,000 Iraqis have died

Who are the real terrorists?

My Limericks

2006-09-21T18:14:00.000-07:00

I was having a really bad day today, so I decided to make myself laugh by making up limericks. I got this idea from Asma. So here goes:

There was a young girl with hijab
She wore it to please her Rab
She loved henna, that girl of jennah,
The pretty girl with hijab

Zakiyyah was that baby's name
as cute as the babies of fame
her smile was astounding, to all those surrounding
"Pure One" was that baby's name

Skirts were the lady's obsession
Selling them became her profession
she bustled around, selling skirts thoughout town
Now her business is the lady's obsession

LOL...I think that's enough for now.

2006-09-20T17:57:00.000-07:00

Please read Selective Amnesia and Selective Sunnah, by my friend Izzy Mo. She has articulated what I feel perfectly.

An interview and an "oops"...

2006-09-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

This morning I got an email from a radio show called Open Source They happened to come a across this blog and were interested in talking to me. They're doing a show tonight on "Moderate Muslims" and the Pope's apology. The host and I spoke for about a good 10-15 minutes about why the episode of "The View" angered me. He asked me some interesting questions. He asked me whose fault it is that the ladies on the show aren't more aware of moderate Muslims. I had to admit that although I would expect a journalist like Barbara Walters to be more aware of us, it is also our fault. Let's face it, we know that everyday people are saying negative things about Islam, yet how often do we reach out to non-Muslims and try to change their perceptions? Not often enough in my humble opinion. Anyway the show will air tonight at 7pm eastern. You can listen to it on the site, on XM satellite and on the site they have a list of radio stations where it will be broadcast.

Anyway, I think I made a mistake in my earlier post. I referred to "so-called Muslims." That was an error. Even though some Muslims choose to express their anger in a violent manner, it is not for me to judge there Muslim-ness. I think a better term would be "misguided Muslims." It just makes me so angry, that those who do choose to act irrationally and lash out are taken as representatives of my religion. Not only that, but shouts are heard better then rational words, so they get the spotlight.

On the same token, I also have to remember that some of the people who expressed their anger through violence come from places where oppression is a way of life, and often the violence is against them. I don't know how I would express my anger if I was forced to live in fear as many Palestinians, Iraqis, Sudanese, and Lebanese do. I just hope and pray that this Pope Scandal doesn't erupt as it did over those cartoons, especially so close to the holy month of Ramadan.

On a sidenote, it is extremely hard to do a phone interview while the baby is crying...whew!

What's in my bag

2006-09-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

UmmAbdur-Rahman tagged me, so here goes...

1. My wallet
2. My keys...notice the cute tiny shoe, key ring. Why do women find tiny things cute?
3. A crumpled tissue
4.Carmex
5. Burt's Bees lip gloss
6. A tiny bottle of Victoria Secret's lotion, Amber scented
7. A blue stone that used to be affixed to my sandal. I keep meaning to glue it back.
8. Breast Pads...a nursing mom's breastfriend
9.A change of clothes for my habibaty
10. Diapers
11. Do you see that purple pouch thingy? I just realized, it was given to me by UmmAbdur-Rahman, I use it to hold change and small bills.
12. A calculator
13. My cute business card holder with a flower
14. gum and mints
15. a reciept
16. Baby wipes

Now if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged for this meme as well. By the way, sorry the pic keeps loading side-ways....

The Papal thing....

2006-09-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

Ok. Pope Benedict has said some hurtful things about Islam. He reffered to a quote that our religion was spread by the sword. We've heard comments like this before, right? So, what do some poor, misguided "Muslims" do to prove that he is wrong? They bomb a church and commit other violent acts. It is so ironic that some Muslims think it will prove we are not violent by commiting the very violence that our religion condemns.

Today, watching The View, and they started talking about the Pope's comments. Barbara wondered why moderate Muslims don't stand up against this violence. Elizabeth stated, "...are there any moderate Muslims?" The whole conversation pissed me off to the fullest. It doesn't matter how many press releases CAIR issues, they will never make the news. Shaykh Yusef Qaradawi called for a "Peaceful" Anger Day this Friday. But of course, no one cares about that. The media only reports negativity when it comes to Islam and Muslims and they should know that. I wrote a letter for the producers of the show. I know it probably won't accomplish anyhting, but it makes me feel better. I haven't sent it yet, so if you have anything to add, let me know in comments...

Dear____,

My name is Amani Jabbar. I am a 23-year-old woman. I am a hurricane Katrina Evacuee. I am a wife, a mother and I am a Muslim. Firstly, I would like to say that "The View" is one of the few morning shows that I watch regularly. I love to hear different points of view, and I think that this is one of the show's strengths.

Today, on your show, the Hot Topic segment touched upon Pope Benedict's statements against Islam and the Prophet Muhammad. The question was raised as to why "moderate Muslims" do not speak out against violence and aggression in the name of Islam. Barbara, stated that perhaps moderate Muslims are afraid to speak out, and Elizabeth wondered "Are there any moderate Muslims?"

I would like to address these questions. I consider myself a moderate Muslim. I know that in a post-September 11th world, many people in this country have preconceived notions about my religion, Islam. It saddens me that some so-called-Muslims across the globe misconstrue my religion and commit violent acts. I am also sickened by the fact that the violent actions of some taint the good works and actions of the rest. The irony is not lost on me that some misguided souls protesting Pope Benedict's remarks by committing violent acts. However, we have to remember that there are nearly one billion Muslims in the world, six million of which reside in the USA. How can the media paint an entire religion based on a few?

In the Hot Topics, Joy stated that "...everyone wants to hear what Paris Hilton has to say." I feel the same way about Osama Bin Laden and his cronies. I have a blog (http://yearningforjennah.blogspot.com/). I view my blog as an outlet to show the views of a moderate Muslim woman. I know that my words may never make it to the news. Even though my blog has a limited audience, I feel if I can change one person's perceptions about Islam, then that is enough reason to continue. When myself and a group of fellow moderate Muslims volunteered one summer building homes for Habitat for Humanity, it was not broadcast on the local news. When the Islamic school I taught at held a food drive and donated the proceeds to a Christian charity, it was not printed in the paper. However, if Bin Laden releases a video or audio recording every news station will undoubtedly broadcast it. How can moderate Muslims, such as myself, make our voices heard if they're constantly ignored?

I challenge the producers of "The View" to allow a moderate Muslim woman like me to sit in on the Hot Topics one day. I think the ladies would be very enlightened.

Yours,
Amani Jabbar

2006-09-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

I don't usually share the keywords that find my site, but these are so unusual that I had to share. Here goes:

1. new muslima what foods do i eat during ramadan:

I would suggest lots of whole grains, dates, yogurt, & milk. Try to eat balanced meals, containing something from each of the 5 food groups: grains, dairy, meat, fruits, veggies.

2. muslima such muslim:

What the heck does this mean? Umm...i'm a Muslima, if that's what you're looking for, but sorry I am taken.

3.muslima for marriage:

See above...

4. don't find wife attractive islam:

Are you sure that she finds YOU attractive? Maybe you let yourself go and she has followed suite.

5.I feel a flutter in my stomach does this mean that I am pregnant:

Not necessarily. Have you missed your Aunt Flo? That's usually the first indicator.

6. Reflection on Ramadan:

Yes, I have reflected on Ramadan, inshallah I will continue to do so.

7. muslima fashion:

I am a Muslima, I don't know how fashionable I am. But I DO sell clothing ;-)

zakiyyah avec des queues de porc

2006-09-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

I got tagged, so here we go,,,

2006-09-13T09:13:00.000-07:00

State three for each of the following:

Favorite food you eat till you puke and don't mind eating it again and again and puke it all over again:

Oreo Cookies
Pizza
Ripe Peaches

Favorite stores to shop till you drop (and might never fit in their clothing, but you buy their stuff anyways, because you are in denial):

New York and Company
Old Navy
http://www.priyankas.com/

Favorite shows that you quote like madness and will totally attend a convention if ever existed:

Project Runway
Starting Over

Favorite movies that you just never get tired of:

Bend It Like Beckham
The Lion King

Things you wish to do before you die:

Read the entire Quran in Arabic
Finish My Master's Degree
Publish a book
Go on Hajj (sorry, I cheated)

Places you want to go before you die:

Mecca and Madinah
W. Africa
France, Spain or Italy

Things you fear the most:

The fire fueled by Men and Stones
Failure
dissappointing those I love

Things that make you happy:

Zakiyyah's Smile
Feeling special
Shopping

Things that you wish to excel in:

Motherhood
Writing
Islam

You feel strongest about:

My religion
My family
Respect for Myself and all women

Your favorite quote:

So many....here's one
And women have rights similar to those of men in kindness(Al-Qur'an 2:228).

2006-09-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

This Sunday, I got to attend a Ta'alim with my husband. My husband has been studying with a brother for a few months now, and I finally got to sit in on a session with them. The brother has studied Arabic and Fiqh in Yemen and Syria, so he really knows his stuff. He and my husband are translating a classic book of Fiqh from Arabic into English. Right now they are on Salat, so they were talking about the requisites of Salat, what invalidates Salat, etc. Very intersting stuff.

After the private lesson, the brother also teaches a class that is open to everyone, and we sat in on that one also. During the lesson, he talked about Bid'ah (innovation). If you're Muslim, than you probably know that there has been a movement by some Muslims to outlaw innovation in Islam. They basically say that every innovation is Bid'ah and every Bid'ah is wrong and everyone who commits it is going to hell (paraphrase).

Well, the brother outlined three types of Bid'ah and also stated that not every innovation is bad. Here are the three types.

1. Wajib or neccessary innovation: For example, the Prophet Muhammad (saws) never wrote the Qur'an down in a book, yet today it is necessary to write down the Qur'an, does that mean that those who publish the qur'an are going to the fire? Of course not.

2. Innovation that is not necessary, but there is no harm in it. For example, the prophet Muhammad (saws) never wore jeans or ate with a fork and spoon. That doesn't mean that we are wrong for wearing jeans.

3. Haram innovation. We know that some innovations are haram, becuase there are Ayat in Quran and ahadith that state that these actions are wrong.

This discussion really struck a chord with me. A few years ago, I was attending a halaqa with a group of sisters. It was a weekly event, and afterwards we would eat and socialize. One week, the topic was salat. Anyway, eventually the topic moved to niyah (intention). One sister said that it was Bid'ah to make an intention aloud. Another said it wasn't. Mayhem ensued. They started to argue. Words were exchanged. Needless to say the group of sisters broke up.

It's really a shame that Muslims sometimes treat each other worse then the non-Muslims treat each other. Even if you disagree with another Muslim, there is no need to loose all manners. Even if you think that something another Muslim is saying is wrong, Adab dictates that you just leave them alone. Or take them to the side and tell them in private. This was also stressed by the brother.

The brother is not only knowledgable, he also has a good sense of humor. He told this joke:

The prophets wife, Ayesha, would always tease his other wifes. One day she was bragging and said, "I am the only one of Muhammad's wives that was a virgin when they wed." All of his other wives were widows or divorced.

Fatima, Khadijah's duaghter, replied, "My father may have had you when you were a virgin, but my mother had him when HE was a virgin!"

2006-09-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

As Ramadan nears, I think I would like to start a blog specifically dealing with the month of Ramadan. I want it to include reflections on the Qur'an, how fasting clears the mind and soul, fasting in a non-Muslim country etc. I think I want to make it a group blog. Wanna join me? Let me know in the comments or drop me a line amaniangel1983@aol.com

Happy Anniversary Habibi....How I Met my husband

2006-09-06T18:06:00.000-07:00

It was Spring of 2003, I was a 20-year-old college junior and women's vice-president of my school's Muslim Student Assoc. I guess it appeared as though I had it all together, but something was missing. I couldn't quite shake a persistent feeling of...what was it? I couldn't name it.

The day was a Tuesday. I was waiting in the University Center soon, our MSA meeting would begin, and I was killing time until it started. I sat alone at a table reading my History text book, trying to drown out the noise of the other student's around me. I don't remember the name of the text, but I was taking a course in the Abolotion of Slavery in North and S. America. Just then, a guy interrupts my solititude. It's "James." I know James from a few classes, and he always wants to talk to me about Islam. I have given him books and pamphlets, but he always has more questions. Today he says,

"In Islam, all human beings either go to Heaven or Hell, right?"

"Yes," I reply. "If you're a good person you are rewarded with heaven. If you're not, you're punished with hell."

I answer tentatively. I'm always worried that I will say the wrong thing and tarnish his view of Islam. Other thoughts run through my mind. Why does my hijab have to make me stand out so much? Why are most of the brothers on this campus incognito? If they had long beards and kufis, if they were recognizably Muslim, maybe James would be asking them questions, instead of me.

"Hmm," he seems thoughtful. "I just don't get that."

"Why is that?" I reply. I look at my watch. I don't like to talking with this guy too much. Even with so many other students nearby. "Most religions have a similar view..."

"It's just that, if God is our creator, why....how could he stand to see his creation punished for eternity? I mean, if you had a child, could you stand to see him or her burning for all eternity becuase they made a mistake?"

Thoughts are racing through my mind now. Oh jeez...that's a tough question, I think to myself. What to say. I make silent du'ahs for Allah to give me the right words.

"Well, in Islam, um...Didn't your mother ever punish you for misbehaviour?" I pull at my hijab uncomfortably. I honestly don't have a good answer for James and it's frustrating, embarassing and slightly angering me.

"Yea, but my mother's punishments never lasted all eternity. Hehe...Take you and me for instance. If we were to go out together, would God punish you for that?"

I can feel my face starting to grow hot, now. So that's what he wants...He's not intersted in Islam, he wants to date!

"Well, James, I'm sorry, but I don't have a good answer for you, but I have to go, I have a meeting to attend." I gather up my books and leave before he can object. I exit the student center, but I don't go to the MSA meeting. Instead, I head home. James's question had shaken me. I felt angry with myself for not having the right answer. Was there a "right" answer for that type of question? I started to question myself. Why would Allah punish some of his creations for making mistakes. Was that really fair? I felt like a hypocrite. How could I represent the MSA properly, if I couldn't even answer his question?

The question haunted me for the rest of the day and well into the night. That night I made extra prayers, asking Allah for strength and guidance. I also asked Allah to rid me of the feelings of the feelings I had been having lately. The feelings of loneliness.

.....................

While I was having this discussion with "James," a brother stepped into the MSA meeting for the first time. Being a night student at the university, he didn't really have time for exrtacurricular activities. The only reason he has come today was becuase of brother "Ahmed." Brother Ahmed had worked with him a few months back and continually tried to persuade him to come to a meeting sometime.

Ahmed was not trying to convince him to join the MSA so that he could participate in our Bake Sales and Lectures, as awesome as the are, he was trying to find this brother a wife. For weeks Ahmed had been telling this brother about a sister who would make a perfect wife for him. "Please, just come to a meeting. This is a really good sister, Mashallah...hijab and everything."

Being Arab, Ahmed is very pushy and wouldn't take no for an answer. So, having finally been worn down, he came to the meeting. Unfortunately, the sister he was looking for was no show. After the meeting pushy Arab Ahmed tells him, "She didn't come to this meeting Brother Jibril, but please come to the conference we will be having on Saturday. She will definitely be there, inshallah."

"OK, inshallah, I'll be able to make it." Jibril agrees to come to the conference the following weekend knowing that this brother will not leave him alone until he meets this sister.

..................

On that Saturday, I wake up early, looking forward to the conference. I feel bad for missing the MSA meeting and I hope that one of the speakers will be able to answer my question. Plus I have agreed to watch kids in the daycare room for a few hours, and I honestly can't wait to see the babes.

As I enter the ballroom, where the conference is being held, I notice a brother whom I have never seen before at an MSA function. It's kind of hard to miss him, as he is sitting directly behind the table that holds the sign-in sheet.

"Assalam 'Alaikum," he greets me.

"Wa Alaikum Salam," I reply. Do you ever have a feeling that you have met someone before. That is the way I felt the moment I saw him. The next thing I know, Ahmed is calling my name very loudly.

"Amani! I'm glad you're here. Did you see the daycare room yet, Amani!" Something seems strange. Why does Ahmed seem so happy to see me. I brush off the feelings of weirdness and follow Ahmed to the daycare room.

A few days later, I meet the brother again, at an MSA meeting. We exchange names, and I learn that he shares the same name as my father. I can't describe the feelings of Deja-Vu that I felt from the first time I laid eyes on Jibril.

A few hours after the MSA meeting, I get a phone call from another MSA member, "Leena."

"Amani," she finally gets around to asking, "are you looking for a husband?"

"I don't know," I reply, "Who's asking?"

Anyway, after many meetings (chaperoned of course) and phone calls, the rest is history.

Ramadan Reflections...

2006-09-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

I remember the girlhood days of fasting. The days of dry mouth and hunger pangs. When the mouth was so dry that it seemed pasty, filled with crud or wet sand. The headaches gave way to a surreal feeling of other-worldliness. "Ummi, is it time yet?"

"No, just a few more hours. Why don't you take a nap?"

Sleep came, but no relief comes when dreams are filled with images of cold glasses of juice and fried chicken dancing like characters from a Disney movie. So young...what does one gain from fasting when you're too young to reflect. I surely gained nothing from these Ramadans other than hunger and thirst. The Holy Qur'an states that fasting is prescribed for us that we may learn self-restraint. I can't say with honesty that I truly learned self-restraint from fasting until I was much older.

In my family, the children started getting used to fasting by fasting half-days. That means we would fast from breakfast time until Iftar came. I remember feeling like I was participating in the fast. I felt so proud to fast those 6 or so hours. My parents helped to instill a sense of accomplishment. We were sometimes rewarded with toys or money for each day we "fasted."

Eventually, we reached the age of reason and full days came into effect. It was quite a shock to my system. Suddenly I was expected to fast for 12 hours or more. Not only that, but we were no longer rewarded with trinkets. When we asked about them my parents would answer, "Your reward is with Allah." Well, that was all well and good, but my ten-year-old self would have preffered a Barbie, I'm sure.

Eventually, I began to understand the true meaning behind fasting. In my opinion, abstaining from food and drink gives a Muslim(a) strength to avoid the temptations of this world. You certainly do feel like you can accomplish anything after going 29-30 days without eating or drinking during daylight hours. It makes the other challenges of the Dunya seem easier. It's suddenly easier to say no to alcohol, fornication and the other trappings of non-muslim society.

Once my mental capacities could truly understand the meaning and purpose of the fast, fasting became much easier. In fact, I began to look forward to the month of Ramadhan, the month of fast, prayer, reflection and forgiveness.

Last year, as a pregnant woman, I did not fast save a few days. It was the first time since I was a girl that I didn't fast. In Ramadhan of 2004, I was pregnant and attempted to fast, became dehydrated and suffered a miscarriage. While life and death are all in the qadr of Allah (swt), I chose not to fast last year, while pregnant with Zakiyyah. I felt as though I was "missing out" on Ramadhan. I truly wanted to participate in the fast.

This year, although I am nursing, I will attempt to fast. Inshallah, Allah will make it easy for me. I also plan to pray more than usual, read and contemplate Qur'an and give to charity. I would love to participate in Maliha's 30 acts of kindness. I look forward to this Ramadhan in the same way my ten-year-old self looked forward to the toys and trinkets. ;-)

Human Sexuality in Islam...

2006-08-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

Someone found my blog by doing a google search for "dua to become attractive to husband." I thought that was an interesting search. I decided to do a search for the term myself to see what I would come up with.

I found an interesting article titled, "Human Sexuality in Islam." I began to read the article to see what the Dr. who wrote the article had to say about marriage. He begins his discussion of marriage by saying that one of the benefits of marriage is to have free halal expression of sexuality between the spouses. Then, he started to talk about sexual attractiveness. He says this on the subject:

The sexual attractiveness is a continuous process that is necessary to bind the 2 spouses together. Some people misunderstand this to mean that a woman is attractive before marriage in order to attract the man and need not maintain her attractiveness after that. A married women must always look attractive to her husband. This prevents him from being tempted by other women.

I think this statement borders on mysoginistic. I agree with the author that it is important for a wife to stay attractive for her husband. But, ALWAYS? I mean, that's a lil harsh, don't you think. It is nearly impossible to stay attractive for your husband at all times. What about after childbirth? What about if you're sick? Another problem I have with the article is the fact that he doesn't speak about how the husband must also keep himself attractive for his wife. It says in the Qur'an “And women have rights similar to those of men in kindness(2:228).” If it is the husband's right to have an attractive wife, it must also be the wife's right to have an attractive husband. It seems like too many men (Muslim and Non) expect their wives to look like a supermodel, while they look like Shrek.

Maybe some men don't know what to do to keep themselves up. I'll agree that there are many more cosmetic and beauty aids for women, which might lend to the confusion on the issue. So, here is my Men's Guide to Staying Attractive for your Spouse

1. Bathe or Shower at least ONCE daily. Nothing is a greater turn off then body odor.

2. Check the heels of your feet....if you can easily light a match on them it's time to take action. In the cosmetics section of the drug store they sell something called a Pumice Stone. It is used to remove he rough skin from the heels. Use at least once weekly.

3. Try to trim any extraneous hair. This includes pubes, armpits and the beard/moustache. Include the nostrils and ears if you know you have a problem. I know that our beloved Propher wore a beard, but that doesn't mean it has to be unkempt.

4. After exiting the shower, apply lotion, LIBERALLY. Areas like the elbows and knees deserve extra attention in this area.

5. Apply body oil or cologne, but do so sparingly. Too much is a major turnoff.

6. Brush and floss regularly. No one wants to kiss a potty-mouth.

7. Clip the toenails and fingernails regularly. Few things kill the mood more then being cut by an errant toe nail.

8. Excercise....'nuf said.

That's all...

Does anyone have anything else to add to the list?

2006-08-22T18:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is an old pic, but it gives me the giggles. Yes, celebrities wear nursing bras just like the rest of us moms. If you don't find this funny, you have obviously never suckled a baby...

Update on my business....

2006-08-22T16:04:00.000-07:00

As you can see from my links I now have an eBay Store and a website under development . Yaay...now if I can just get some business....

This Saturday, I vended (is that a word?) at an event for Muslim Women. I did ok, but I feel I could have done better if the event was better organized. Firstly, it started late...as usual...this caused all of the lectures to be jammed one directly behind another. This left little time for the ladies to see the vendors. Also, there was a fashion show, some of my designs were featured, which should have brought a lot of ladies into the vending hall, BUT another lecture directly followed the fashion show. Grr...I am starting to get frustrated with poorly organized Islamic events. I don't blame the organizers themselves neccesarily. There were only two sisters running a rather large event. If more women had volunteered to help, I'm sure that the event could have been better executed. And, would it kill the attendees to arrive on time for once? I must say that Desi/Arab-time puts CP-time(Colored People) to shame.

This Sunday, I am organizing a ladies' bazaar. It's gonna feature a lecture and a poetry circle, and of course my clothing.... I hope and pray that it is a success, inshallah. If your in the Atlanta area, drop me a line...

2006-08-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things happen in the news that I don't like to comment about. Usually, it's becuase I am so sick of hearing about these events in the news that I do not want to spend time blogging about them. But I've decided that no matter how sick I am of these current events I have to say something.

Last week, terror suspects were apprehended in England, as you must know. In the wake of this, many non-Muslims are again asking "Why don't Muslims condemn this?" I am really sick and tired of hearing this mantra over and over. It is beginning to sound like a broken record. Muslims HAVE and CONTINUE TOO condemn terrorism over and over. So much so that it is beginning to sound like a broken record. Numerous 'Ulema (scholars) have issued fatwa after fatwa condemning terrorism. The Center on American Islamic Relations and many other Islamic Organizations have written letter after letter condemning terrorism. After 9/11 they wrote letters and issued fatwas. After the London train bombings they wrote letters and issued fatwas. And on and on it continues. If you're not Muslim, your probably wondering why you haven't read and of these letters or fatwas, the answer is simple: Muslims doing/saying positive don't make the news these days. Here are some of those said fatwas. Read 'em for yourself.

Muslims Issue Fatwa Against Terrorism
ISNA

Would you like crushed beetle with that?

2006-08-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

It keeps getting harder to eat a halal diet in this country. WaAllahi, I try, but every so often I hear about a new additive or ingredient that is blatantly haraam, or at the very least questionable.

I just wrapped my mind around L-Cysteine. L-Cysteine is a compound that is sometimes found in breads. It turns out that L-Cysteine is naturally found in human hair, so some manufacturers are making this dough conditioner out of human hair. OK, that is not only nasty, but also blatantly haram. So now I have to read every loaf of bread, roll and bagel that I buy to make sure that I am not committing cannibalism. Thanks a lot modern science.

Ok, now that my fridge has been purged of L-Cysteine, I find out about Cochineal extract. One of the few things I eat almost everyday is yogurt. I love the stuff, now I find out that some yogurts and juices contain Cochineal extract which are "...derived from female cochineal beetles, which are raised in Peru, the Canary Islands, and elsewhere. They provide a pink, red, or purple color to foods ranging from ice cream and yogurt to fruit drinks..." Why would food companies think it is ok to consume beetles?? That is just gross. I also found out that the food companies aren't currently required to label this ingredient. They can just put down "artificial coloring" on the label and that's enough. Does anyone know if beetles are halal, haram or makhruh?

2006-08-08T18:39:00.000-07:00

Happy 6 Month Birthday!!!

On February 6th of this year, we welcomed Zakiyyah into our lives, arms and hearts. Allow me to be trite...I never realized just how much having a baby would change my life. I love her more than I could ever imagine. When I was pregnant with her, all I could concentrate on was the labor and delivery itself. I wanted a "natural" childbirth. I had a mental checklist of what constituted a good mother. A good mother doesn't use drugs during labor, a good mother breastfeeds, a good mother never uses formula etc etc...Alhumdollilah, I didn't use drugs during labor, Alhumdollilah I am still breastfeeding, but that doesn't mean that all the mothers who don't do things just the way I do are bad mothers. We, as women, should stop beating ourselves up. Motherhood is the one of the toughest challenges we will ever face, let's not make it any more difficult.

Anyhoo, Zakiyyah is amazing, Mashallah. She grows and develops before my eyes. She still perfers breastmilk to babyfood, but I continue to try and coherce her to try it. She seems to like blueberries and apples best, as you can see from the pic. Oh yea, she can sit up! I love her so much...just look at that face, how could I not??

Book Review--Mayada: Daughter of Iraq

2006-08-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, Mayada Al-Askari was one of Iraq's sweethearts. Coming from a well-educated, wealthy and connected family, Mayada was mostly untouched by Iraq's troubles. She certainly didn't have any firsthand experience with the creulties of Saddam Hussein's incompassionate regime. In fact, Mayada had met with the former president on 3 separate occasions to recieve awards for her writing. Well-Educated, Mayada grew up travelling throughout Europe and the Middle East.

One day, Mayada learned for herself exactly how cruel and inhumane the regime could be. She was thrown into prison, accused of printing anti-Saddam pamphlets, and tortured. While in the prison she shared her cell with 17 other "shadow women." In her month in the prison she learned the other women's stories. Most of the women were innocent. Although the crimes that they were accused of were mostly minor infractions, one was accused of using her sister's passport, they were all subjected to torture, sexual assualt and malicious treatment.

Although the book is somewhat depressing, it is a must read for anyone interested in the country of Iraq or Saddam's regime. It also includes photographs of Mayada. I give this book a B+. I take away points becuase the writing is sophomoric at times.

Quiz

2006-08-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

I got this idea from It's My Life . Take this quiz to see how well you know me. Share your score.

AnNisah Scarf Collection

2006-08-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

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Here is our collection of scarves. The scarves measure between 22'' x 62'' and 22" X 72". The ombre are made of cotton, the others are 100% silk. For more information email amani@annisah.com or amaniangel1983@aol.com

AnNisah Skirt Collection

2006-07-31T13:50:00.000-07:00

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I finally uploaded my pics. Here is my current skirt collection. I accept payments via PayPal. If you have more questions about fabrics, sizes or anything else please email me amaniangel1983@aol.com or at amani@annisah.com. The sizes run like this small fits American sizes 4-6, medium fits 8-10, large fits 12-14, xl fits 16-18.

War...Violence

2006-07-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

I suppose war is necessary, right? I mean, I suppose, that in order to have peace there must occasionally be war. Try explaining that to the nearly 400 Arab casualties of the Lebanese/Israeli conflict. Or the nearly 1,600 that have been wounded. That adds up to a lot of widows. A lot of childless mothers, and fatherless children. I'm sure that philosophical explanations mean little to those fatherless kids, or the children who just happened to get in the way of the adult games of war and imperialism.

I could fill this space with gruesome pictures of dead children, but since you're reading this blog you probably already know that many children and civilians have already been killed by the Israeli missiles, and that many more will die before this "war" ends. Besides, if I did show you a picture of a bloody baby, or a grieving muhajabat what would that really prove? What can you or I really do about this conflict?
The people in charge will continue to play their games. Giving bombs to one country, and then giving aid to the very people at whom the bombs are aimed. Read about that here I feel powerless and impotent in the face of such violence, but I'm sure I don't feel as powerless as those widows do. I guess all I can really do is make Du'ah...

AllahUMMAK FINA HUM BEMA SHEETA AllahUMMA INNI AJ ALUKA FEE NUHOOREHI AllahUMMA INNI AJ ALUKA FEE NUHOOREHI WA AOOZOBEKA MIN SHOROOREHIM.

O Allah ! LET THY SUSTENACE, SUFFICE US AGAINST THEM AS THOU DESIREST. O Allah ! I PLACE THEE IN FRONT OF THEM. AND I SEEK REFUGE IN THEE FROM THEIR MISCHIEF.

Don't expect too much from me....

2006-07-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get the feeling that you have dropped something, and you cannot seem to place what it is? You look everywhere, behind you, to the side. You get up and scan the floor. You just know you have dropped something, but you don't know what it is, and even if you did you would not know where to find it, anyway. You just know that as soon as you give up on finding it you will look in your purse, pocket, backpack or whatever, and realize what it is that's missing, but by then it will be to late to locate it anyway. That is how I feel lately.

Something just doesn't feel right. I don't feel like myself. One day is turning into the next, and I have to consult a calendar in order to figure out what day it is. They say motherhood is the toughest job ever, it is so true. I guess I'm missing the carefree, unharried, well-rested version of myself. The problem is she is gone, and I have no idea how to find her. Reading, resting, sleeping, dressing well; these are activities that the old me used to enjoy. I had no idea that motherhood is an all encompassing title. You cannot be a mother today, and be different tomorrow. It is the last title you will ever have, it will go with you to your grave....and beyond. Fatherhood is not like that. Sorry dads, but it's just not. My husband can go to work, and be a different person altogether. My thoughts are always with Zakiyyah; I know that no one can care for her the way that I can.

Nursing does not make it any easier. Last weekend, my husband watched Zakiyyah on Saturday morning so that I could go to a festival and sell my clothing. He brought her at around 1 o'clock. I had only been away from her for about four hours, but for some reason my breasts were painfully full of milk. To top it off, she wouldn't nurse. I guess it was the heat. My entire body began to ache. I wish I had brought my pump. My body is no longer mine. My thoughts are no longer mine. Sorry, but I'm tired. Inshallah, I will have a happier post next time.

Detox

2006-07-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

O ye who believe! eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is Him ye worship. Al-Qur'an 1:172

Recently, I started a 10 day detoxification program. A detox is a short term "diet" that is meant to cleanse your body of toxins. On this particular program, I have been avoiding meat, fish, soda, caffeine, sugar, and any "white starches," like white bread, rice and pasta. I think everyone should do a detox every once in awhile. It really cleans out your system and centers you. But stay home for the first few days if you can, cuz you will be on the toilet A LOT.

Anyway, I have been living as a vegetarian for 7 days now, and it's not that bad. For breakfast I have oatmeal and fruit, lunch is a salad with egg whites, garbanzo beans and lots of veggies. For dinner I will have brown rice and some type of beans, or a vegetarian soup, like lentil or split pea. For snacks I have fruits, veggies and sometimes yogurt. I only drink water. I was a vegetarian for about 4 years when I was younger, so this way of eating is not new to me. The problem is getting my hubby to adjust to it.

We were doing sooo well, until...on Saturday we got salads from Whole Foods and my hubby also got a decadent desert. It was a Cafe Mocha Butter Bar. He was so excited to get it and he took a few bites then put it away. And the rest still sits in the refrigerator. The thing about detoxing is that after you've been doing it for awhile, the foods you used to enjoy don't taste as good anymore.

I've been thinking abou becoming a vegetarian again. Although, my hubby disagrees with it from a theological standpoint. He says that Allah(swt) allows us to eat animals so it would be like denying his blessings to avoid them completely. I'm still thinking about it.

My name is not Mrs. J- E-!!!

2006-07-14T18:03:00.000-07:00

Do you know what I hate?? I hate when I recieve mail addressed to Mrs. J- E-, using my husband's first and last name as opposed to my own. I have my own name gosh darnit. I chose to keep my maiden name when I got married, and many of my non-Muslim friends thought I was being "feminist." They didn't understand that Islam gave women the right to keep their maiden names long before The Women's Liberation movement. My decision to keep my name has nothing to do with feminism, it is deeply rooted in the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad SAWS.

While we are on the subject of things that I hate, have you seen the new commercial for the BK Stacker? If you have it features little people assembling giant sandwiches using construction equipment. I'll suspend my dislike of the non-politically correct use of little people, and focus my attention to the sandwich. BK Stackers are made in three sizes, the largest of which, The BK Stackers Quad, has four, yes FOUR patties of beef, four slices of cheese, eight strips of bacon and not even a shred of lettuce to redeem itself. I guess the genuises at Burger King figured that the 1230 calories in the Triple Whopper weren't enough, they decided to make an instant heart attack. Like there aren't enough unhealthy and overweight people in this country. When is the fast food industry going to become more accountable for the garbage they serve? Have you seen Super Size Me? You should, it is a great documentary.

Single Muslims and Marriage

2006-07-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to a "Marriage Junction" hosted by an Islamic Counseling Center in the area. I went to give moral support to a friend. I thought it was interesting how the event was managed. Each attendee filled out a profile about themselves and what they're looking for in a spouse. After filling out the profile, they are each assigned an ID #, which they pin to themselves. If you see someone who you are interested in, you note their ID # and look at their profile, to see if they have what you're looking for, so to speak. You can they contact their Wali, if you're still interested. They then had a lecture about the rights and responsibilities of marriage followed by a luncheon.

I thought it was creative how they handled the situation. All too often "Islamic" marriage events turn into nothing more then glorified singles nights, including music, dancing and brothas scoping sistahs out like they're in a night club (tsk, tsk, tsk), yes these things happen. Anyway, I mentioned to a friend that I had went and she said that events like this don't work. She herself has attended an event hosted by the same group, with no luck. Well, my question is, if events like these don't work, what does?

I mean, ideally single brothers and sisters who don't have a Muslim family to help them out can be introduced through friends, but all too often instead of introducing you to a nice brother or sister, they try to pawn off on you their unemployed, twice-divorced cousin who "isn't really practicing right now, but maybe he just needs a good sister in his life."

Alhumdollilah, I am married, but I really feel for all the brothers and sisters who aren't. I know for a fact that the internet rarely works, becuase I tried it out myself back in the day. You either get green card seekers or people who aren't really serious. So what's the solution?

enjoy...

2006-07-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

2006-07-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

If We Must Die
by Claude McKay
If we must die--let it not be like hogs
Hunted and penned in an inglorious spot,
While round us bark the mad and hungry dogs,
Making their mock at our accursed lot.
If we must die--oh, let us nobly die,
So that our precious blood may not be shed
In vain; then even the monsters we defy
Shall be constrained to honor us though dead!
Oh, Kinsmen! We must meet the common foe;
Though far outnumbered, let us show us brave,
And for their thousand blows deal one deathblow!
What though before us lies the open grave?
Like men we'll face the murderous, cowardly pack,
Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!

McKay is one of my favorite poets. This poem should become the rallying cry for Muslims these days...

Shh...I'm reading

2006-07-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

It was right at the time of night when dreams glue eyelids tight and spirits, good and evil, ride the air; when lovers stir, the fire spent once more rekindled; and the souls of the chosen sigh as they leave the flesh, homeward bound...

My book finally arrived. It is called, Living, Loving and Lying Awake at Night . The author is Sindiwe Magona. She is South African, and the book is a collection of short stories about South African women during the time of aparthied. Although Magona is one of the most prolific S. African writers, none of the bookstores in my area carried the book. I had to order it through Amazon.

Now that it's here, I just have to find the time to read it. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Play with me

2006-07-06T09:15:00.000-07:00

Just answer in the comments and lets see what you have to say about me.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

Family Fun Day

2006-07-03T17:18:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, My hubby watched Zakiyyah by himself, so that I could set up my merchandise at a family fun day at a local masjid. This was the longest time I had ever been away from my Habeebatee. Like a neurotic mother, I pumped 5 bottles of milk, gave her a bath the night before, laid out clothes, and fed her just before I left. All of my worry was for nought. She behaved better for my hubby then she does for me! He brought her to the park at about 1pm, she had only taken one bottle of milk. The rest go frozen.

My business did pretty well for the fisrt time out. I made more then my booth fee, which was def. a plus, alhumdollilah. I know it will take awhile for me to start making a profit, so I'm not stressed. I got invitited to a souk on Saturday, and gave out some cards. I guess I'm a business woman now. Woohoo...

sad, mad, angry...

2006-07-01T17:22:00.000-07:00

Ok I have a rant. In order for this to make sense, I have to give some back story. My parents have seven children. Alhumdollilah, by the grace and will of Allah (swt), they raised us all Muslim. Unfortunately, some of my siblings have turned their back on Islam completely. It makes me sad. It makes me mad. It makes me angry. Anyway, one of my siblings is married to a Christian. I use the term "Christian" loosely. If a person never goes to church, shows poor character, and openly disrespects their in-laws, can that person still be considered Christian? All theologians feel free to respond.

After Katrina, my entire family evacuated together, including said sibling and said in-law. During those tumultuous times, my Grandparents invited all of us into their home. I watched as said in-law openly disrespected myself, my family, and my grandparents. Never once thanking my grandparents for putting them up, ignoring grandparents, eating my Cheez-itz, etc. Now, my sibling has decided to move the family to my city in Georgia. More specifically, down the street from us.

I told my sibling that there was a nice house for rent down the street, and they decided to move in. Upon seeing the house, sibling's spouse stated that the house "Looks like a crack house," and "stinks." This is a nice house, which I have seen with my own eyes. So, this person not only disrespected the house, but also me b/c I happen to think it's nice. They decided to move in anyway, becuase they didn't have anything else set up.

If that wasn't enough, my mother and I decided to visit sibling and family and welcome them to the neighborhood. We came in the house, and my mother said hello to all. We then commented on their new baby, and the home, basically making small talk. We were there for a few minutes when my sibling blows up at me, saying, "Don't you see X sitting here? You're ignoring X!" Can you believe that? My sibling had the nerve to accuse me of disrespecting their spouse, and yelled at me in front of everyone....and what did I do? Silly me, I apologized. I'm such a fool.

It makes me mad, becuase an older sibling is supposed to be someone you can look up to, ask for advice. They should be an example for younger siblings to model themselves by. This whole situation makes me so mad, and I know this post is confusing and maybe I shouldn't even be complaining b/c their are people starving in the world, but I have to get this out...

..busy, busy....

2006-06-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

I inherited from my mother a desire to do more than my constant procrastination will allow. Right now I am trying to start a home-based business. Remember how I blogged a while ago about trying to find long skirts?? Well, I decided to start my own business, specializing in long skirts, tops that cover the booty, and pretty scarves. Basically, modest clothes that are also modern and semi-stylish. Also, affordable. My parents always owned their own business, so I guess I am copying off of them in a way. So, I have been putting all of my time, money and energy into this. AnNisah Clothing is taking off, inshallah. I plan to debut at a Family Fun Day this weekend at a local Masjid. Make dua that I do well. If you are looking for modest clothing, drop me a line. I can email you pics and I accept Pay Pal. Inshallah, I will have a web site soon. My most expensive item is only $35, so show a sista some love....

The state of the American Masjid (pt 1)

2006-06-27T17:59:00.000-07:00

This is an article I am working on. Let me know what you think.

The State of the American Masjid

By Amani

In 1954, a major change occurred in the United States education system. Before then, public schools in the country were governed by the rule “separate but equal.” This supposedly meant that although the schools were separated by racial barriers, they should provide the same standard of education to the Black students that was granted to the White students. Brown V. Board of education changed that. In the years preceding 1954, “separate but equal” was more of a catchphrase than a fact. Black schools were sub-par and everyone knew it. While many still argue if desegregation of schools ever worked, no one can prevent a Black student from attending any school he or she chooses. Unfortunately, there is another institution in this country that remains segregated to this day, to the detriment of many women. This essay is not about schools, it is about the segregation of the American Masjid.

Our beloved prophet Muhammad (SAWS) stated, “Do not stop the maid servants of Allah from going to the mosques of Allah, (Muwatta of Imam Malik).” Additionally, he also stated, “When the wife of one of you asks about going to the mosque, do not stop her,” as narrated by Bukhari. These evidences establish that it is very much Halal, and encouraged, for women to enter and worship in the Masjid. Allah (SWT) states in the Qur’an, “O you have believed! Do not make unlawful (Haraam) the wholesome things which Allah has made lawful (Halaal) for you… (5:87).” No believer has the right to change what Allah (SWT) and his messengers proclaim. Ideally, the Masjid should be open to every believer, man, woman and child. Not only should the Masjid be open to all Muslims, ideally, it should also be clean, comfortable and well kept for men and women alike. It is a shame that many Masajid go against these ahadith. Some Masajid openly ban women, while others do not vocally declare the Masjid a solely men’s domain, they simply make it too uncomfortable for women. Unfortunately, I have experienced this firsthand.

Let me tell you about the story of Masjid X. For the attendees of Masjid X, it is not enough to have separate areas for men and women. In fact, not even separate rooms suffice. This Masjid has separate buildings, one for the male worshippers and one for female worshippers. In order for a female worshipper to attend this Masjid, she must walk through a gravel covered parking lot and enter a separate building. The women’s area has a speaker system that is supposed to allow the ladies to hear the prayer. When I prayed there, we heard the adhan over the speakers, but we didn’t hear the iqama or the actual prayer. Myself and a few other sisters sat there feeling foolish, while waiting for the prayer. Eventually, one sister got up to lead the other sisters in prayer. In the meantime, my husband was outside looking for me, wondering why I was taking so long when the prayer was over long ago. Now, I am not saying that the planners of this Masjid intentionally designed the buildings to deter women from attending, only Allah (swt) knows what lies in their hearts. However, I feel that more steps need to be taken in this Masjid to encourage female attendees. In this case, the rooms are separate, but they are far from equal. The men got to hear the beautiful recitation from the Imam, while the sisters missed out.

Next time: Masjids Y and Z...and is there a solution?

A terror plot with $10??

2006-06-23T19:27:00.000-07:00

Did you happen to hear about the 7 black men arrested yesterday? It's been on the news all day. A group of "Jihadists" were supposedly planning an attack. It seems that some genius in the FBI infiltrated their "terror cell" and uncovered a "plot" to bomb the Sears Tower. These seem like lofty goals for a group of individuals with little more than $10 to their names. Not only do they have no money, explosives or concrete plans, they're not even Muslim. "They all call themselves brothers and they are well-mannered," his older sister, Marlene Phanor, said. "All they were trying to do was clean up the community. We are Catholic. He's Catholic." My mother could have told them that. She took one look at them and said, "They look Rasta to me." It seems we are now living in a society where one need only talk about something and be tossed in jail. Be careful what you say...

View the full article
Here

Zakiyyah's First Meal

2006-06-19T21:10:00.000-07:00

This is Zakiyyah's new high-chair, courtesy of Mama D.

This is Zakiyyah's new spoon and bowl, with yummy rice cereal.

This is all three put together. Not a very pretty picture.

Do you hear the sound....

2006-06-19T14:39:00.000-07:00

...it's me banging my head against a wall. So, last fall I enrolled as a graduate student to study English. I was about 3 mos. pregnant when school started and I figured I could earn some credits before the baby made her arrival. Then, Katrina happened. Things were so confusing, and suddenly I found myself having to start my life over. For some insane reason, I decided to use my tuition money to enroll in two internet classes, since I knew I couldn't return to New Orleans. I did great in one course, I got an A. However, the stress of the pregnancy, moving to a new city, purchase all new furniture etc got to me. I got an incomplete in the other course.

I know, I know...I should have stuck to it and completed the course requirements, or at the very least drop the course. So now, I have to make amends. Which means write a 20 page paper. Yes, 20 pages. I have 6 weeks in which to complete this task, or the I turns to an F. I have no one to blame but myself.

My word cloud

2006-06-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

A word cloud takes words from your blog and creates and image. The bolder the word, the more often it appears. I got the idea from Imagination Procrastination . I got it at snapshirts. I wonder what it says about me.

About the mall...

2006-06-17T15:13:00.000-07:00

I went to the mall today because I need clothes. I can't put it off any longer. I lost all of my clothing in Katrina. It didn't bother me at first, because I was pregnant, and most of it wouldn't have fit me anyway, but I'm not pregnant anymore. Zakiyyah and my husband both have more clothes than I do. It's time to do something about this. My pregnancy pants are now too big, and when I lean forward I get plumber's crack. Not very attractive by any means. This situation is exacerbated by the fact that I am nursing. That means most dresses and jilbobs won't work.

Lately, I have been wearing long skirts and blouses. This makes whippin' out the watermelons a lil easier. But long skirts are hard to find, and sometimes very expensive. $40 for a basic denim skirt!! These shops are out of their minds. Plus, some of them are so hideous. I. Am. Not. Amish. I just want something semi-stylish and modest. It seems like mid-calf length skirts are making a comeback. I ran all over the mall getting my hopes up over skirts only to realize that they are inches too short. Grr...

I eventually found a long, white linen skirt. It was more than I wanted to pay, but oh well.

At the mall...

2006-06-17T14:00:00.000-07:00

My husband, Zakiyyah and I were at the mall. We were getting on the elevator, becuase it's hard to take the escalator with the stroller. Anyway, a man and his young son were getting off, as we were getting on. They were Jewish. They both had on yarmulkes. The son looks at us in awe and says, "Daddy, they look like us!" I don't know if he was refering to my husbands Kufi, our skin color or what. But it made me smile.

Modesty...

2006-06-14T18:25:00.000-07:00

An article appeared in the USA Today about Muslim women demanding modesty in public places, ie. gyms, while playing sports, etc. As I began to read it, I thought "Finally, an article that shows how Muslimas want to be covered and still participate in physical fitness." However, the article quikly turned sour. The article's tone makes it seem as though only a few crazy, extremist Muslimas agree with the rule that women must be covered in front of men. The word "Wahabbi" is used to describe women who want to be in privacy while swimming and playing basketball. I'm seething right now. Who cares if I make my Jewish and Christian "friends" uncomfortable?? No one cares if I have to search for Halal food, or pork and alcohol-free products. I'll quote the article.

Effort to accommodate Muslim women's modesty spurs debate

Muslim women in the USA have been asking the public to accommodate their religious beliefs about modesty, a trend that some Muslims worry will provoke a backlash.

In some recent examples:

• In Lincoln Park, Mich., Fitness USA relented when Muslim women demanded that the gym wall off a co-ed aerobic center from their women-only section because men could see them working out.

• In Bridgeview, Ill., a Muslim school says it wants its girls' basketball team to play road games against non-Muslim schools provided the public schools ban men and teenage boys from the game.

• In North Seattle, Wash., a public pool set up a swim time for Muslim women in which men, even male lifeguards, are banned.

In all of the examples, businesses and public facilities were asked to accommodate followers of one interpretation of Islamic law that says the sexes must be separate if women are not covered with headscarves and modest clothing.

Meeting such demands could create a backlash against Muslims, says Zuhdi Jasser, chairman of American Islamic Forum for Democracy, which advocates separation of religion and government.

"In the long term it does not serve to build friends and bridges with the Western community," says Jasser, a Muslim.

"You're not going to make your American, Christian and Jewish friends to feel comfortable ... which in the end could create a dislike for Muslims that is unnatural."

But other Muslims see the trend as an issue of civil rights.

Salam Al-Marayati, executive director of Muslim Public Affairs Council, says the right to petition for special accommodation based on religious beliefs is protected by the First Amendment.

"Whether a woman wants to cover her hair or not is her personal choice," he says. "As long as it's not imposed on the rest of society then I don't see any problem."

Walid Phares, a professor of Middle East studies at Florida Atlantic University, sees it as an early sign in the USA of a global Islamic movement to pressure Western society into abiding by Islamic laws.

"These demands exist because there is an ideology of a militant movement to slowly but surely demand more," Phares says. "They will be building on it."

Phares says the conservative Saudi branch of Islam, known as Wahhabism, is trying to assert itself as representation all Muslims in the USA and makes demands most Muslims disagree with.

But Ebrahim Moosa, professor of Islamic studies at Duke University, says the requests are attempts to integrate with U.S. culture. They show "that America can become their home," he says.

Tea-Bo & incense

2006-06-12T10:31:00.000-07:00

I did a couple of things this weekend that I haven't done in a long while. 1. Do Billy Blank's Tea-Bo, and 2. Buy incense. Basically, I haven't done either since having Zakiyyah.

I know some people might say, "What does buying incense and doing Tea-Bo have to do with having a baby?" A Lot. The problem is using valuable time and energy that could be utilized taking care of her. I used to burn incense, scented candles and burning oils all the time. Since giving birth, the thought hasn't even crossed my mind. It feels good to do something simply because it makes you feel good. Allah (swt) put these simply pleasures on earth for us to enjoy and we should. Before I got married it seems that I spent 90% of my time doing me-centered things. These included getting my degree, making sure I looked nice and listening to music and other leisurely activities. Now, I am married and I have a baby, and it seems like I spend 90% of my time doing things for them and just keeping the household in order. A Muslim should seek balance in all things, so I guess, ideally, it should be a 50-50 thing. Is that possible?? It seems like it will be even harder if/when Allah(swt) blesses me with more children.

Now for Tea-Bo. During my pregnancy, I gained ~32 lbs. When I went for my post-partum visit to my midwife, I had lost 28. I guess it was mostly water. Even though I lost most of the weight, I wonder if I will ever feel like my "old self." I know excercise is a must if I want to tone my muscles and lose extra weight. So, I did tea-bo. Inshallah, I will do it again soon.

Ohh...one other thing happened. My husband took Zakiyyah to the store by himself for the first time. Ya Allah, it felt so good to have a half hour to myself...

2006-06-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

As you can see from the video, Zakiyyah has become much more proficient with those little hands. In some ways it is a relief. She has learned to calm herself, by sucking on her index and middle fingers. I no longer have to guess about whether or not she is hungry; she lets me know by trying to pull up my shirt. Her new game is pulling at my ears, nose and lips with her strong little hands. Sometimes she scratches me with her little fingernails...ouch. She lets me know that she's tired, becuase she rubs at her eyes and pulls at her ears.

Speaking of sleep, mine has been even more fitful then usual lately. I keep imagining some horrible mishap befalling Zakiyyah. I dream that the T.V will fall on her. Or she will fall in the toilet bowl, or be abducted. I don't want to become one of those over-protective parents, but everything makes me nervous. Maybe it's becuase I watch too much news. Here in Atlanta,
a child was murdered with ax . I can't imagine how sick and/or crazy a person would have to be to commit such an act. It's the kind of thing just makes me hug Zakiyyah and make du'ah... aoudhobillah min ashaytan irrajim...

Zakiyyah at play

2006-06-07T19:59:00.000-07:00

Ya Allah...

2006-06-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Zakiyyah developed a fever. It was the first time she has ever been "sick." She really didn't have any other symptoms except the fever and she was also a little drowsy. She had felt hot the day before, but her temp. was normal. Suddenly, it spiked to 99.5 and then to 101.2. Needless to say, I was worried. I must've called my mother no less then 100 times, and consulted my baby book at least that many. After a few doses of children's Tylenol, she is back o her smiley happy self. I don't know what how I will deal with the real childhood illnesses...the flu, chicken pox etc. Ya Allah, give me strength...

Same old stuff, different day...

2006-06-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

Look how she's grown!

I am currently in the process of trying to return to school to finish my M.A degree. I know I just had a baby, but I HAVE to go back to school, or I fear my brain will turn to mush. Here's why: everyday is the same. I go through the same routine with Zakiyyah nearly everyday and it's starting to get boring. This is what a typical day looks like:

1. Wake up at least an hour before Zakiyyah.

2. Pump milk, shower, and eat breakfast.

3. Zakiyyah is up. Change her, nurse her, occupy her with a toy that has at least a minute amount of learning attached to it.

4. Zakiyyah's nap time. Try to tidy up house, check email, pray,and relax in the 30 min it takes her to nap.

5. Zakiyyah is up. Change her, nurse her, occupy her with a toy that had at least a minute amount of learning attached to it.

6. Zakiyyah's nap time. Try to prepare dinner, visit some blogs, pray, and make a few phone calls in the 30 min it takes her to nap.

7. Zakiyyah is up. Oh and hubby is home. Get hubby to change her. (Darn. I wish he could nurse her). Nurse Zakiyyah. Get hubby to watch Zakiyyah while I pray.

8. Eat dinner. Give Zakiyyah a bath and put her to bed. Pray. Read. Sleep.

I yearn for the days when I decided what structure my day would take on. These days Zakiyyah calls the shots. I am looking forward to taking a class or two this fall and feeling challenged again. For all you stay-at-home-moms, how do you deal with the tedium of the daily grind??

Random Thoughts

2006-05-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

Why do complete strangers always seem to think they know what's best for my baby? Prime example: I am in Wal-Mart and Zakiyyah is being fussy. The conversation goes somethink like this:

Some lady: Ooh, your baby is soo cute.

Me: Thank you, but she is being fussy. I think she may be teething.

Some Lady: Does she have a teething ring?

Me:Yes.

Some Lady: Well, do you put it in the freezer?

Me: No, I put it in the refridgerator.

Some Lady(now aghast): Oh, no. You have to put it in the freezer. Do you know what I did with my baby? I put twizzlers in the freezer for him to suck on. They're sugar free ya know.

Me(trying to suppress rude comments): Well, thanks for the tip, maybe I'll try it.

It seems many people have some uninformed opinions about childrearing. From the woman who told me that's ok to feed babies rice cereal from 2 months on, to the woman who said that babies need a blanket even in hot weather. Everyone has an opinion. It truly amazes me that most mothers go on to raise healthy children (by the grace of God). But then again, Allah knows that I am probably making countless mistakes with Zakiyyah as we speak. Mistakes that I am completely unaware of. Allah, please allow Zakiyyah to make it through babyhood unscathed...Ameen.

Oprahcracy?

2006-05-22T19:25:00.000-07:00

Oprahcracy is social phenomenon in which unlimited cultural power is held by a single woman. This cultural phenomenon began in the United States in the 1990s and shows no signs of waning. Though largely a female-driven phenomenon, Oprahcracy relies heavily on the reactionary principles of a male-dominated workforce that, in turn, relegates women to a steady diet of daytime television and group therapy.... Excerpt from Encyclofeedia.

Lately "hatin' on Oprah" has become a cool pastime. Ever since she gave cars to over a hundred single mothers ("You get a car, and you get a car! Everybody gets a car!"), many have developed a distaste for the high-powered talk queen.

Why? Although Oprah is a billionaire, she readily gives her riches and lends her name to every worthy cause from killing in Dar Fur, to rape in the U.S. She shed light on the scene in Uganda, a situation which forces hundreds of children to walk miles every night. These "night walkers," seek refuge in human cages to avoid being kidnapped, raped, and forced to fight in rebel armies. I had never heard of this until I saw an episode of Oprah.

Oprah's latest cause is building a school for impoverished girls in South Africa. I this that's pretty awesome.

Sometime in the late 90s, Oprah revamped her show. Sick of countless makeover and dating episodes she began to focus more on the Spirit. Although she does show the occasional makeover, the show began to counquer much more complex issues. She also started a book club. Becuase of Oprah, people began to read again. So why hate her?

At first I thought it was becuase she's rich. But that can't be the case. Donald Trump is rich, as is Bill Gates. They each are worth way more money than Oprah. Yet, no one has bashed the Trumpocracy or the Gatesocracy.

Then, I thought that it was becuase she was a woman. However, Martha Stewart probably has almost as much money as Oprah, and although she went through a period of lagging popularity (AFTER commiting a crime) she is just as popular as ever now. Although both Martha Stewart and Oprah Winfrey are rich by anyone's standards, I never hear about Stewart using her fortune to build schools or save orphans from starvation. Stewart's made her fame not from tackling issues of the day, but from helping countless woman make the perfect pie crust and showing people how to fold t-shirts. Like Oprah, Stewart has a magazine, a television show AND radio station, however no one has spoken of a Stewartocracy.

So, what's the difference between Stewart and Winfrey? I hate to say it, but the only difference is color. I think it eats some people up inside to see such a rich, powerful and influential BLACK woman. When Oprah speaks, people listen, and some people hate that. I just feel proud that a she uses her influence and money to do good, instead of being selfish like so many other rich and powerful people.

Being a mother means there is no "restroom"

2006-05-11T14:01:00.000-07:00

I was talking with my mother yesterday, and I said, "Ummi, sometimes I get tired of being a mother." She laughed and said, "You've only been a mother for three months."

"Yes, but it feels like three years," was my reply. I never realized that being a mother means there is no restroom. Several times I have had to use the bathroom while holding Zakiyyah. Taking a shower most mornings means leaving the door open, while Zakiyyah is seating in her infant seat just outside the bathroom door. Some mothers even bring their babies into the shower with them. Alhumdollilah, It hasn't gotten that bad for me.

I wish I could go back to the carefree days when I could take a long nap in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. My rest was peaceful then. I didn't have to worry about whether Zakiyyah is hungry, sleepy or needs a change. I could sleep like the living dead. Sleep will never be that restful again. I share my bed with Zakiyyah as well as my husband now. She sleeps longer that way, but I can't say that I do. Between my husbands snores and my baby's baby noises, my sleep is fitful.

I don't want to give the impression that I don't love motherhood. Alhumdollilah, Zakiyyah is truly a gift from Allah (swt). However, I wish I could take a long bubble bath with a trashy magazine without a care in the world. Inshallah, when my baby gets older, these treats will return. Until then, I'll have to make do with short showers, with the bathroom door open.

2006-05-03T08:40:00.000-07:00

Alhumdollilah, The masjid I once attended is still intact.

Returning Home

2006-05-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

I returned to New Orleans this weekend. I call this entry returning home, however the city no longer felt like home to me. Many parts of the city appear as though Katrina just hit yesterday. There are still very few businesses open. The recovery process is slow going. We were staying in the city, and we discovered that in order to purchase anything or eat out, we had to go to the suburbs. I didn't really feel safe while staying there becuase there are still so few residents in the city. It was erie to hear almost no sounds at night. And only every 10th house or so has inhabitants. Trash and debris still litter the city: a breeding ground for rats and other pests.

Although it was disheartening to see the city this way. I was happy to see some of the friends that I have missed these past several months. I was even able to visit the Islamic School where I used to teach. And, of course, I was happy to show off my Habibatee Zakiyyah.

We had to return to New Orleans in order to gut out our house. The process of gutting means removing all of the walls, cabinets and plumbing fixtures from the house. Inshallah, we will be able to repair the home and possibly rent it out or sell it (we haven't decided yet). The entire Katrina experience has been humbling for me. It truly showed the Qadr of Allah. I just pray that I have interalized the lessons that I was supposed to learn from this.

Returning Home

2006-05-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

The outside of my house

My house in the process of being gutted.

Baby Massage

2006-04-21T19:46:00.000-07:00

Sleep, ya habibatee, sleep...

Recently I have discovered the world of Baby Massage. After reading reports that it helps with everything from mood to helping babies sleep better, I decided to give it a try. There are many different techniques out there, but I decided to just go with what seemed to feel right for both me and Zakiyyah.

After her bath, I layed her on a thick towel, without a diaper. Then rubbed baby oil between my hands to warm it. I started with her feet and work up to her chest. I stroked the balls of her feet, and then worked her legs in a rope pattern. As I massaged her, she actually seemed to enjoy it. It calmed us both.

I don't know if it is simply a coincidence, but the first time I tried baby massage, Zakiyyah slept for 6 hours straight!! Needless to say, baby massage will be a part of our routine from now on, inshallah.

Zakiyyah @ 10weeks

2006-04-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

What a cutie!

It's been a looong time

2006-04-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I have shared on my blog. What can I say? Caring for a newborn is hard work. It's one of the hardest tasks I have ever undertaken. Zakiyyah is growing everday, and her sleeping habits are becoming more predictable (Alhumdollilah!!). So, I now have a few moments to share some of my experience.
As some of you may know, I planned to have Zakiyyah naturally (ie. no epidural or pain medications. I took a 12 week series of classes to prepare myself for a natural childbirth. The classes taught the Bradley Method

of natural childbirth. They covered topics ranging from healthy eating during pregnancy to breathing and relaxation techniques. I succeeded in having a natural chilbirth. I didn't ask for any pain meds, however I wish I had concentrated more on what to expect after birth. I had no idea how hard breastfeeding would be, or how often babies spit up. For the first few weeks, I felt like a newlywed who had spent all of her time planning a wedding, and no time getting to know her fiance.

Alhumdollilah, I had my mother close-by to over support, guidance and wit. I don't know if I could have made it through this first few months without her. But as she always says, "You do what you have to do."

If I could offer any advice to pregnant women, I would say:

1. Sleep Now
2. Prepare early (for childbirth and childrearing)
3. Don't be so idealistic. I went into motherhood with all of these "nevers" in my head. "I will never give my baby a pacifier." "I will never let my baby cry." I soon learned that the more inflexble you are, the less happy you will be.

Inshallah, I will post again soon.

Welcome Baby Zakiyyah

2006-02-10T20:43:00.000-08:00

J and I would like to announce the birth of our daughter, Zakiyyah Amatullah. She was born on Feb 6, at 8:35pm. She was 6 lbs, 13.2 oz and 20 inches long. Please send out your du'ahs for our baby, inshallah. I will post more info and my birth story later, inshallah.

Muslims ask radio host for apology

2006-01-28T05:20:00.000-08:00

Muslims ask radio host for apology

ANAHEIM (AP) - A Muslim civil liberties group demanded an apology Thursday from the host of a Los Angeles-area radio show for making fun of a stampede that killed hundreds of Muslims during an annual pilgrimage.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations asked for an apology from KFI-AM 640 host Bill Handel, who allegedly made fun of the deaths during a Jan. 12 segment he called the ''Annual Stampede Report.''

A spokeswoman for KFI, which is owned by Clear Channel Communications, did not immediately return a message left Thursday. Handel's producer, Michelle Kube, also did not return calls for comment. Handel had left work for the day and attempts to reach him were unsuccessful.

At least 363 pilgrims were killed and hundreds injured in a stampede that day in Mecca, where thousands of people were rushing to carry out a symbolic ritual of stoning the devil in Mina.
According to CAIR, Handel imitated the people screaming and then joked that the Muslims at the pilgrimage should use a helicopter to monitor pilgrimage traffic, as is done in Los Angeles with the freeways.

CAIR quoted Handel as saying, ''This is Mahmoud Nolan. Hajj in the Sky. There is an accident... Ali lost his sandal on the on-ramp to the Martin Luther King Jr. freeway...''
In March 2004, KFI issued an on-air apology after CAIR filed a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission following a skit that claimed Muslims have sex with animals, don't bathe and hate Jews.
'
'The deaths of hundreds of people engaged in religious observances is no laughing matter,'' CAIR spokeswoman Sabiha Khan.

My Trip to New Orleans, PT 2

2006-01-11T15:41:00.000-08:00

We continued on. The landscape of my neighborhood had changed, and I began to doubt if it would ever be the same again. Each home bore a spray painted mark telling if any dead bodies had been found inside. Driving along, I saw that some homes had been the scene of death.

The businesses that we had once frequented were destroyed. Gas stations were closed. There were no people any where to be seen. Twilight Zone.

One of the things I had loved about our Gentilly neighborhood, were the many birds that could be seen and heard. Months before, bright green Quacker parrots had inhabited the palm trees lining Filmore St. Well, the palm trees were dead, and the birds were gone. Left was a drab brown landscape.

We approached our home. I could easily see the dingy water line on the outside. It was at least as high as my shoulder. I didn't want to put my unborn child in danger. The air quality in the city was questionable, and mold was running rampant. For this reason, my husband brought me to a friend's house in Kenner, while he returned to fully inspect our home.

Kenner is a mostly white suburb of New Orleans. I was amazed to see that, while not untouched, the situation in Kenner was remarkble, considering what I had just seen of New Orleans. Stores, businesses and gas stations were open. There were plenty of cars and people in the streets.

My friend's home felt like an Oasis, after seeing my own. She had electricity and running water. She asked me if I needed anything. "No," I replied. "...Can I sleep on your couch?" I spent the rest of the morning in a dreamless sleep. I awoke to my friend's two sons playing. I watched them. Her home felt so peaceful. I watched her sons, Zaid and Zumad, argue over legos and action figures. They seemed unfazed by the disaster that had just taken place.

The day before, I had made a list for my husband of things I wanted him to try and salvage from our home. The list was obsolete and ridiculous. The inspectors confirmed that our home was a complete loss. Demolotion was our only option.

Watching Zaid and Zumad play, I realized that relocation was our only choice. We needed to give a home like this to our unborn child. Security: that was what I craved. I knew then that for the time being, New Orleans was closed to us. My husband and I would have to open a new door for ourselves and our child. For better, or worse, Atlanta would become our new home.

Eid Mubarak

2006-01-10T14:25:00.000-08:00

Allah is the Protector of those who have faith; from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light...Al Quran 2.257

I pray that this Eid brings blessings to you and your family, inshAllah.

My Trip to New Orleans

2006-01-05T09:23:00.000-08:00

A few months before Katrina, my husband and I rode our bikes through our lakeview neighborhood. It was just after sunrise and a fine fog hung in the air. We started off slowly, and quickly built up our pace. On Elysian Fields, past Ferrara's Supermarket, past UNO's buildings, past Chimes Bookstore...over a small bridge. As we traversed the bridge, I picked up speed, through natural momentum; the breeze kissed my face. The wind threatened the modesty of my hijab. I felt like I was flying down the small bridge, and met my husband at the bottom.

We were bound for the lakefront. When we arrived, we sat on the steps leading to the water. I felt so calm and at peace as we watched the foamy waves lapping at the concrete steps. I remember telling my husband that I understood how people believed that the world was flat. Looking at the lake, it seemed to go on forever, and then suddenly drop off. I saw boats in the distance. It gave the allusion, that if the boats continued on, they would fall off of the earth.

I felt sad to leave the lake behind. But we left, before the New Orleans sun melted the fog.

This is what I remember of New Orleans. This is what I miss.

***

On October, 29, two months after Katrina, my husband and I made our way to New Orleans. We decided to drive all night, so that we could arrive around 8 a.m, just in time to meet the inspectors that would assess the damage to our home.

The sun was just rising as we drove along the Mississippi Gulf coast. I wasn't surprised by what I saw. I was surpised by what I didn't see. The huge casinos were gone. They were replaced by rubble. The trees were gone; left behind were decrepit shells, shadows of their former selves. Homes were destroyed....the homes weren't even able to leave behind remnants. I suppose they were just picked up and blown away, like matchstick houses.

Tears streamed down my face as we continued on towards our city. East New Orleans looked like a war zone. I saw a car dealership. Amazingly, the cars remained in the same position they held before the storm came. However, they were covered with hardened mud. Some of them had windows blown out. They stood in a straight line, omniously. They looked like minions, ready to do someone's bidding.

Entire apartment complexes were ruined. Huge pieces of wall were gone. I found myself looking into someone's living room. The wall was gone, but the couch and other furniture remained.

Everything was brown or gray. The air was heavy and stank of mold and stagnancy.

We didn't speak as we continued on towards our neighborhood. It was more of the same. More destroyed homes and buildings. More brown and gray grass and trees. I found myself questioning. Was it really just a hurricane? A storm was all it took to obliterate my street, my neighborhood, my city, the entire region? It seemed more like a bomb had been dropped.

I could see a shoulder-high water line on the homes and buildings as we drove along Elysian Fields. It was easy to see that the whole neighborhood would have to be reconstructed.

See part 2, tomorrow.

My New Years Meme

2006-01-02T19:08:00.000-08:00

I took this meme from It's My Life .

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? Hmm…lots of things. Started a blog, saw the ocean…

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Kinda sorta…Yes I will make new ones.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes. My sister-in-law and a few good friends.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, alhumdollilah.

5. What countries did you visit? None this year unfortunately. But lots of cities: New York, Myrtle Beach, SC, Orlando Fl, Atlanta, Ga.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? A baby in my arms. More patience.

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 29. The day Hurricane Katrina hit.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I’ll have to get back to you on this one.

9. What was your biggest failure? I failed to stop procrastinating.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No, alhumdollilah.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I didn’t buy much.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My husband. He managed to keep a level head in the midst of chaos.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Mr. Bush, Mike Brown, Mayor Ray Nagin, those people at Red Cross who stole from evacuees…shall I go on?

14. Where did most of your money go? Bills and relocating to Atlanta, Ga.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Being pregnant and knowing that I will soon become a mommy.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005? The thing by The Black Eyes Peas. I don’t even like them, but it’s been playing everywhere.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? More hopeful, strangely enough.
b) thinner or fatter? I’m 8 months pregnant, give me a break.
c) richer or poorer? Do I really need to answer this?

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? I wish I’d done more writing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Worrying.

20. How will you be spending Eid? With my family, inshallah.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004? Yes, with my unborn child.

23. What was your favorite TV program? The Apprentice (My dirty Little Secret)

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Hate is too strong a word.

25. What was the best book you read? Minaret by Leila Aboulela.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? I don’t listen to much music.

27. What did you want and get? To move to another city; I just didn’t know it would happen so soon.

28. What did you want and not get? I didn’t expect to become a hurricane evacuee if that counts.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? I didn’t see many, but The Excorcism of Emily Rose made me wanna pray.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 22. I spent it at home with my husband.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Getting a book deal, but I’ll take things one at a time.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? I haven’t had the time or money for a fashion concept.

33. What kept you sane? My family and prayer.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Leila Aboulela inspired me to write more fiction.

36. Who did you miss? New Orleans and all the people I know there.

37. Who was the best new person you met? Too many to name.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005. That Allah is on control of all things.

39. What political issue irked you the most? Soo many. Slow response to Katrina, Domestic Spying, illegal monitoring of mosques…should I go on?

Muslim Sororities?

2005-12-28T18:03:00.000-08:00

Imani Abdul-Haqq, a North Corolina student, recently started the countries first Muslim Sorority Gamma Gamma Chi . In the article CNN published about her, it states that she'd been looking for a full, fun college experience, but she found it hard to be a good Muslim in the standard Greek world. Abdul-Haqq states that, "To not be part of something because you're Muslim just shouldn't be,". So instead of rebuffing her school's Greek system, and opting for Islamic organizations, she decided to start the first Muslim sorority.

Many non-Americans may not know about the reality of sorority and fraternity life. Let me enlighten you. Sororities are known to participate in drug & alcohol parties, fornication, rascism and hazing. For more information about them, just read the book Pledged by Alexandra Robbins. In the book, Robbins documents all of the above activities while following a sorority for a year. Hazing, is an initiation ceremony. Hazing rites vary from having to stand half-naked in a bikini while women circle your "trouble spots" with a black marker, to being made to have sex with a brother from a linked fraternity. Some sorority rushees have died from hazing ceremonies that have gone awry. Eating disorders and drug usage are also a part of modern day sorority life. In Pledged, Robbins writes about one sorority house that had to have their pipes replaced becuase the women participated in frequent binging and purging sessions, leaving the pipes erroded from stomach bile.

While I'm sure that Gamma Gamma Chi doesn't participate in the dark side of Greek life (inshallah), they do wear greek letters and have a "secret ceremony" and "special handshake."

I am confused as to why a Muslim would want to align herself with groups that are shrouded in such negativity. Sisterhood, and brotherhood, is an ideal that is already inherent in Islam. Personally, I have found sisterhood with Muslimas from many races and ages. I'm not sure how I feel about an organization that would seek to emulate greek secular organizations. If the goal is sisterhood, that this is something that could be accomplished in groups other than sororities. Groups like MSA (Muslim Student Assoc) encourage sisterhood.

The Qur'an states, " And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves (Al-Qur'an 3:103)." This was commanded before there were such things as sororities and fraternities. I think the only letters i'll wear are alif-lam-lam-ha...Allah.

It's been a year...

2005-12-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

OK. It's been a year since the Indian Ocean Tsunami. A whole year since more than 200,000 people perished because of this natural disaster. Many of the victims were from the Asian subcontinent. In countries such as India, Sri Lanka, & Indonesia. These countries were badly ravaged, but what the media did not show is that thousands of people in Africa were affected by the Tsunami.

That's right. You heard me correctly, Africa. Somalia was badly affected, and the worst hit Somali community was on the peninsula of Hafun. Lives and livlihoods were lost. Most Somalis live off of the fishing industry, so this was a grave loss for them. When the tsunami struck it swept away boats, inundated plots and destroyed around 800 buildings. Across Somalia a total of 600 boats were lost, depriving whole communities of a means of earning their living.

While the entire world looked towards Asia, Africa suffered in silence (Again). I doubt that Somalia recieved much aid from red-cross or the U.S govt. It saddens me that racism still effects whether or not innocent people recieve help, or media attention.

See these links for more on Somalia's Loss
Somalia Hit by Tsunami
Recovery Slow in Somalia After Tsunami

This is sad...

2005-12-26T19:10:00.000-08:00

Suicide Rates Up In New Orleans

As much as I miss home, this is another reason I will not be going back soon...

Check This Out

2005-12-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

Hilarious video about Hijab

This video made me think. Instead of shoving hijab down our women's throats, why don't we educate them about the reasons behind it, and the hijab and sunnah? What does it matter if women simply "look the part"? The hijab is something worn inside as well as out.

Thoughts on Moving (Remembering Wildair.)

2005-12-22T05:17:00.000-08:00

After much anticipation, we moved this weekend. We were able to salvage a few things from our home in New Orleans. One of them is our framed marriage license. As I removed it from the box, I noticed a velcro strip on the back. It reminded me of the first apartment that J and I shared.

We moved into Wildair right after our wedding. And just as newlyweds slowly discover eachother's faults, we slowly discovered the drawbacks of Wildair.

Wildair was small; no, small doesn't fully describe it. Wildair was microscopic. It was the type of apartment where everything doubled as something else. We had a livingroom/dining room/prayer room/office. Directly adjacent to this was a kitchen/storage room. The bathroom pretty much stood alone (as a bathroom should). But our bathroom was so small that it couldn't double as anything. It was roughly 5 feetX 5 feet of black and white tile. The bedroom was actually ok, but for the fact that the walls were so thin we could hear Saturday morning cartoons emanating from our neighbor's kids.

The lease was strict. We weren't allowed to paint or put nails into the walls. Hence the velcro. We put velcro on the back of any artwork we wanted to display. What a disaster. When we went to sleep the pictures were demurely perched on the walls. When we awoke, the pictures decorated the floors. We gave up on pictures soon after.

We lived in Wildair for a year. Long enough to experience all the seasons. In winter, we relied on space heaters and an open oven to keep us warm. In the summer, we lived in the kitchen, the only room with an operable air conditioning unit.

Have you been to Louisiana?? If you have, perhaps you have come across the giant roaches (waterbugs) that inhabit the state. They also inhabited Wildair. Not more then a few days went by that we weren't assualted by one. One night we awoke to a huge one crawling on the ceiling directly above our bed. Not a prett site.

After a year of living in Wildair, we moved on to cushier digs. But did I mention that for the year we lived there, that we absolutely loved it?

Bill O'Reilly and the so-called solution to Katrina

2005-12-21T14:45:00.000-08:00

Here is an excerpt from O'Reilly's discussion on Katrina. You can find the rest here

"If you refuse to do the hard work that education requires, and millions of kids do, you're going to be ill equipped to compete in the marketplace. And all the government programs in the world are not going to change that.

So every American kid should be required to watch videotape of the poor in New Orleans and see how they suffered, because they couldn't get out of town. And then, every teacher should tell the students, "If you refuse to learn, if you refuse to work hard, if you become addicted, if you live a gangsta-life, you will be poor and powerless just like many of those in New Orleans."

That's the truth. And one does not find an education. This country provides every citizen a chance to get one. Public education's free. Public libraries are free. Many community colleges are basically free. And scholarships of all kinds are everywhere. But no politician can make you learn or develop a skill." --O'Reilly

Where do I begin? There's so much wrong with the above statements that I am about to explode. I'll start at the beginning.

1. "If you refuse to do the hard work that education requires, and millions of kids do, you're going to be ill equipped to compete in the marketplace."

I take issue with the way the word "refuse" is used throughout O'Reilly's statement. He makes it seem as though a GOOD education is just waiting to be grabbed. O'Reilly has obviously never stepped foot into a public school in New Orleans, or any other Urban city for that matter. If he had, he would know that it is entirely possible to get a high school diploma is New Orleans, while barely knowing how to read and write.

As a college freshman I tutored high school students in New Orleans, and let me tell you that it was truly a sad experience. There were high school seniors that could not tell the difference between "the" and "there." That is how poor their reading levels were. Whose fault is that?I suppose O'Reilly would like to blame the students themselves for their lack of education, but he doesn't take into account how poorly maintained many of the schools are. Filthy hallways, dirty and inoperable bathrooms, and lack of books and supplies make for conditions that few can succeed in.

2. "If you refuse to learn, if you refuse to work hard, if you become addicted, if you live a gangsta-life, you will be poor and powerless just like many of those in New Orleans."

If you refuse to work hard?? I guess O'Reilly doesn't realize that many of those in New Orleans did and do work hard. Just becuase the people were unfortunate enough to get stuck in N.O that doesn't mean that they aren't hard workers. O'Reilly paints a picture of lazy, welfare recipients who were too dumb to take care of themselves.

Finally, isn't it the governments responsibility to take care of the unfortunate? O'Reilly ignores the fact that Bush, FEMA and the rest of the Gov't failed New Orleans' residents. O'Reilly lives in a world where the lumpen proletariat don't exist. He lives in a fantasy land where everyone is born with the same opportunities. Sorry, but we have yet to find a Utopia. This whole statement makes me so mad...I hope O'Reilly chokes on his own sense of entitlement...

Looky, Looky

2005-12-15T19:48:00.000-08:00

Yup....those are icicles...betcha didn't know it could get this cold in The Peach. Neither did I.

What the.....

2005-12-15T19:39:00.000-08:00

What do you think of this article? On the one hand, it MAY educate some people about the devastation that Katrina caused. BUT more than likely it will provide entertainment for people to gawk at. I mean giving people tours of the Superdome, is akin to showing people a war zone, albiet on a smaller scale. Also, there's the fact that this company is exploiting the devastation. I just keep imagining them showing people my destroyed home. Sorry, but that kinda P!sses me off...

New Orleans company to offer bus tours of Katrina's misery

By JANET McCONNAUGHEY
Associated Press Writer

For $35 per person - $28 for children - a New Orleans company is offering bus tours of some of the city's most misery-stricken spots, including the Superdome, the Convention Center and neighborhoods ravaged by Hurricane Katrina.

Residents disagree over whether the tours are crass and morbid exploitation, or a good way to help people grasp the enormity of the disaster and keep public attention focused on New Orleans' plight.

The three-hour tours, called "Hurricane Katrina - America's Worst Castastrophe," were announced last week by Gray Line New Orleans, with the first one set for Jan. 4.

"It's a catastrophe that happened here and I just think that people need to be a little more considerate," said Nakia James, who lived in the devastated Ninth Ward.

But restaurant owner Roland Adams, tearing up the ruined oak flooring from his Lakeview living room, said it's great that tour guides have been told to explain the origins of the disaster, including deficient levees and other human errors.

"It's like an awareness program," he said.

Out of three people interviewed at their houses in Lakeview and two in the Ninth Ward, James was the only one who found the idea distasteful.

The buses will start at the edge of the French Quarter, then drive past the Superdome and Convention Center, where thousands suffered in the heat for days without food or water. The tour also may include the destroyed marina and neighborhoods like the flooded Lakefront, Gentilly and eastern New Orleans areas.

Company vice president Gary Hoffman said he intends to show "the utmost sensitivity" to those whose homes were destroyed. After all, he said, they include about 60 percent of the company's 65 pre-Katrina employees, including himself.

The company will give $3 per ticket - probably about 20 percent of profits - to Katrina-related charities, he said. The tours will use major thoroughfares only and employ minibuses rather than big tour coaches, Hoffman said. Smaller streets and the Ninth Ward will not be part of the tour because "that would be too intrusive," he said.

An early run-through for Gray Line guides made one thing clear: you can drive for hours and only skirt the disaster's edges.

Hoffman said he was less than enthusiastic when his wife and tour guides suggested a Katrina tour: "I said, `No. It's morbid. We're not trying to satisfy the desires of people who want to come here for the sake of looking at devastation.'"

But, he said, he came to realize that news coverage cannot fully convey the damage.

"Congressmen and people from outside this area, they only understand it, they only get it, when they see it," Hoffman said. "If we're going to help New Orleans rebuild, we want people who visit New Orleans to see what happened, to see what devastation it's caused."

New Orleans resident Christopher Colley agreed with that: "Film and media only go so far."

"I think it's a good tour," said Gray Line guide Chuck Scroggins, whose house in New Orleans East has 6 feet of standing water. "Right now we're off the national spotlight. People think things are hunky-dory. I think it will be an eye-opener."

---

AP Television News contributed to this story.

Tookie

2005-12-12T16:05:00.000-08:00

Gov. Schwarzenegger has refused to grant Williams clemency. AOL News - Governor Refuses to Stay Gang Leader's Execution Williams will be executed tonight. I am overwhelmed with sadness as I write this. I can only include Tookie's own words...

"I was beginning to understand that my experiences with the dysfunctional status quo of the prison culture - as well as drug addiction, poverty, gangsterism, racism, and other roadblocks - had become the excuses that defined my life. But no longer would my life, my being, be dictated by blind ignorance. Nor would I ever again allow the excuse of circumstance to dictate who I should be. It was daily studying and questioning that prompted my soul searching. I began to develop a sense of critical reasoning from which sprang the first stirrings of conscience. This was the moment when redemption infused itself into my life." From Blue Rage, Black Redemption

Blessings overload!!

2005-12-12T08:04:00.000-08:00

Firstly, Like my new digs?? J. hooked me up with some new html vibes. Don't you love it? Things are really looking up here in the ATL. Some great things are happening to me, and I can only say, Alhumdullilah.

1. I was suprised this weekend with a baby shower. I thought I was coming over for a movie and some snacks, and my two friends from New Orleans, caught me off guard with some much-needed baby stuff. It was so unexpected...it feels so good to know that they cared enough to do that. I can't wait until the baby comes so he/she can meet his/her new aunties...

2. We aremoving this week, inshallah. The townhouse is ready, and we can't wait to move in. It has two floors, with 2 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. Soon I will be able to get the baby's room ready. We're thinking cream-colored with stars and lambs, or is that too corny?

3. J. has gotten a new job!! This was just after his old job in N.O called and said, "Are you coming back on Jan. 3rd??" Of course we're not coming back. 75% of New Orleans residents are elsewhere and the air and water have not been proven safe. In fact, the EPA has advised that small children stay away. How could he possible bring his pregnant wife and unborn child there? Anyway, my dh's new job is in the same field, and he starts next Mon, inshallah.

4. I have gotten my first article published. Hot Coals is an up and coming Islamic E-zine, and they have decided to include one of my articles...now if I can only make some $$ from my writings, oh well. To see it check out http://www.hotcoals.org

As I am moving on Friday, inshallah, I may not have internet for a few days...this may be my last update for awhile. Anyway, I'll be blogging again soon.

Stan Tookie Williams

2005-12-08T19:13:00.000-08:00

Stan Tookie Williams will likely be executed on the evening of December 12. The following is from the A.N.S.W.E.R coalition. If you're against his exocution, visit the links and let your voice be heard.

My opinion on his execution appears on my other blog A Mental Muslima Speaks http://amaniesa.blogspot.com

Stop the Execution of Stanley Tookie Williams!Abolish the Racist Death Penalty!

What you can do ...
Contact Governor Schwarzenegger today to demand clemency! The A.N.S.W.E.R. Coalition has set up an easy-to-use mechanism to send a message to Schwarzenegger. Please take a moment now, by clicking here, to send your message today!Stay on alert for actions in the coming days.On the night of December 12, 2005 (at December 13 at 12:01 am PT), the state of California plans to execute Stan Tookie Williams at San Quentin Prison. Only the intervention of the people will force Governor Schwarzenegger to halt this execution. Please read below to find out more about this case and what you can do.

Who is Stan Tookie Williams?
A co-founder of the Los Angeles Crips gang in 1971, Williams was convicted of murder and robbery in 1981 and sentenced to death. Like so many trials in the racist, anti-worker U.S. criminal justice system, his was based on circumstantial evidence, no physical evidence, and a paid informant. The prosecution's case was laden with racism, including the removal of African American people from the jury panel. (The prosecutor in Williams's case had already twice been censured for discriminatory behavior.) Williams has maintained his innocence throughout.
Since his incarceration, Williams has become a hero for many in his community, working to end gang conflict through his Project for Street Peace and peer mentoring program, and writing several acclaimed childrenÂs books that educate young people to avoid gangs. He has been nominated for the Nobel Peace and Literature prizes.

Why we stand against the death penalty ...
So-called "justice" in the U.S. is far from being unbiased. Virtually all death row inmates are poor people. Those who can afford a good lawyer almost never end up on death row. There are no millionaires on death row.
Study after study shows that racism is a dominant factor in who gets death sentences. People of color, African Americans in particular, are greatly over-represented on death row, as they are in all levels of the criminal justice system. Since the death penalty was reinstated in the 1980's, 40% of those executed have been African American. Prior to that, over 50% were African American. While African Americans are six times more likely to be murdered in California than whites, when the victim of a homicide is white, the perpetrator is at least four times more likely to get the death penalty than if the victim is a person of color.
A small but important step toward true justice is the demand for a moratorium on the death penalty. Every time the state tries to execute another prisoner we must raise this demand.

What you can do ...
Contact Governor Schwarzenegger today to demand clemency for Stan Tookie Williams! The A.N.S.W.E.R. Coalition has set up an easy-to-use mechanism to send a message to Schwarzenegger. Please take a moment now, by clicking here, to send your message today!Today - Thursday, December 8 - Governor Schwarzenegger held a private clemency hearing on Williams's case. People rallied in Sacramento and elsewhere around the country to demand the governor grant him clemency. Stay on alert for actions in the coming days.

If you would like to support the ongoing work of the anti-war and anti-racist movement, you can make a tax-deductible contribution by clicking here.

Sistahs Gonna Work it Out!!

2005-12-03T18:56:00.000-08:00

Today I was able to attend a gathering of muslimas. This was not just any gathering, it was a meeting of intellectual, learned, thinking women. I feel so blessed that I fell into this group.

Since Katrina, I have pretty much been a loner. Besides my husband and family, I have only spent time with two friends who also happened to have evacuated to Atlanta. I have not spent much time at the Masjid, and I was starting to miss the Halaqa that I used to be a part of in New Orleans. I have been thinking, and I have come to the conclusion that I took our Halaqas and the entire community for granted. I didn't attend the halaqa every week, but I took for granted the fact that when I did attend I would be greeted wholeheartedly...I could easily fall into comfort among this mixed group of kindhearted and god fearing sisters. I have just one thing to say, the New Orleans Muslim community may have it's problems, but among them I have had some of my best experiences and learned a lot.

Upon moving to Atlanta, I have been finding it hard to simply approach Muslimas. When I do, I am not always greeted with open arms. Let's face it, Muslims can be somewhat xenophobic. When I was invited to attend this meeting, I felt somewhat apprehensive. Why would these sisters be any different from the ones I had encountered since my arrival?? I am happy that I didn't let my worries stop me from attending. This group has big plans...community development, domestic violence counseling & prevention, holding classes for new mulsimas...etc. I don't know to what extent I will be able to participate in this group, but it feels good to meet women who have the same mindset as myself. Atlanta ain't so bad after all...

Roszina Jefferson--A true storm survivor

2005-12-01T14:58:00.000-08:00

Roszina Jefferson was nine months pregnant when Hurricane Katrina struck the gulf coast. She waited in a house with friends as water began to rise around her. Then she went into labor. This brave woman had to SWIM for help, while going through contractions. Here is the only story that I was able to find on her...this story really makes me feel blessed. I have gone through a lot, but no where near as much as her.

ELIZABETH COHEN, CNN CORRESPONDENT (voice over): Roszina Jefferson's story is a story no mother should have to endure. On Monday, August 29 as hurricane Katrina surged through her New Orleans home, she frantically grabbed her 5-year-old son Ashton, left her fiance and headed to higher ground. She was nine months pregnant, her due date just 48 hours away. As the waters in New Orleans continued to rise, her situation only deepened. Arriving at a friend's home, her son suffered an asthma attack. Then she went into labor and had to make a quick decision. What did you tell your 5-year-old son?

ROSZINA JEFFERSON, NEW ORLEANS EVACUEE: Mommy's is going to get us some help.

COHEN: In the midst of contractions she leaped from a window leaving her son and friend behind swimming 30 minutes in search of help the Coast Guard eventually found Roszina on a bridge and air lifted the laboring woman to Women's Hospital in Baton Rouge. Throughout the rescue she told the story of the son she left behind and prayed he would be found.

JEFFERSON: I know I'm going see him again.

COHEN: On Wednesday, August 31, 8 pound two ounces Keith Hall Jr. was brought into the world.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Perfect heart, perfect lungs. Can't do better than that. He's perfect.

COHEN: But the birth was bittersweet. Two days had passed and there was no sign of five-year-old Ashton.

JEFFERSON: I'm happy because I got this baby but I miss my other baby.

COHEN: Shannon Easily was about to enter her life. A mother of four and deeply religious she was helping to open a shelter in her church in nearby Walker, Louisiana. In the coming weeks this make shift home would welcome some 25 families.

SHANNON EASILY, SHELTER VOLUNTEER: I went to Social Services and said our church wants to open up the shelter. There will be moms and babies that need place to go. She gave me a couple names. Ms. Jefferson was one of them.

COHEN: Shannon also worked in the very hospital where Roszina gave birth seeking out Ms. Jefferson, a friendship formed.

EASILY: I'm going to help you so you won't be alone.

COHEN: On Thursday, September 1, incredible news. Roszina's friend the woman she left her 5-year-old with saw her story on CNN and relayed a message to the hospital. Young Ashton and fiance Keith were safe at the Houston Astrodome.

JEFFERSON: I found my baby. COHEN: With that news a mother wept and Shannon Easily devised a plan then dialed her husband.

EASILY: I called Willis immediately and I said Willis guess what they found the baby. He said really? Where is he at? I said he's in Houston. And he said are you thinking what I'm thinking?

COHEN: As mother and baby Keith left the hospital and headed to the shelter, a surprise awaited them.

EASILY: I was so excited I didn't want anyone to know.

COHEN: What Roszina didn't know was that Shannon had driven ten hours through the night and picked up her precious cargo. And when the exhausted mother arrived at the church shelter

-- UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have something else for you. OK.

JEFFERSON: My baby!

COHEN: Finally mother, baby and big brother reunited.

JEFFERSON: I was so surprised. I would never in my life thought he would have been there.

COHEN: Two mothers, two heroes and the happy ending continues. On Tuesday Shannon's Easily's town opened its heart and doors once again as little Ashton Jefferson attended his first day of kindergarten.

Why I'm choosing a natural child birth

2005-12-01T14:10:00.000-08:00

I have told many friends and family members about my decision to have a natural childbirth. "Natural" to me means with as few medical interventions as possible. That means no epidural (anesthesia), no episiotomy (cut of perinuem), no pitocin (drug to induce contractions) or artificial breaking of waters. Many have been supportive, but some seem to think I may have lost my mind. So, I've decided to outline the reasons why I choose to have a natural birth, inshallah.

1. Do the names marcaine or carbocaine sound familiar? These drugs often used in epidurals come from the same chemical family as COCAINE. If you told any doctor that you planned to do a line of cocaine during pregnancy they might call the police on you, but for some reason they think it is O.K to use these "pain relievers" during labor.

2. The drugs are NOT safe for an infant. All pain relievers have been proven to cross the placenta very quickly and reach the unborn child. In fact there is no drug that has been proven safe for an unborn baby. These drugs make the baby feel druggy, and affect their brain development for hours and perhaps days after birth. In my childbirth class we watched a video that showed a group of drugged babies and compared them to another group of un-drugged babies. The un-drugged babies were able to crawl to the mother's breast and nurse! The drugged babies were unable to crawl to the breast, and when the mothers placed the breast in the babies mouth, some of them had trouble latching on to the breast altogether.

3. Epidurals have also not been proven safe for the mother. Do some research, some women have died or become paralyzed becuase of poorly administered epidurals.

4. Childbirth is a painful, but rewarding experience, with or without drugs. Ask any mom who has had an epidural, and she will tell you that labor and birth hurt. Why would I risk harming myself and my baby, if I know that anesthesias are not completely effective?

5. Every woman since Hawa (Eve) has given birth naturally, up until my grandmother. If Eve and Maryam can give birth effectively and without drugs, why can't I??

ICNA Southern Regional Conference

2005-11-26T19:40:00.000-08:00

Today I was able to attend the ICNA Southern Regional Conference, held here in Atlanta. The speakers included Dr. Ahmed Shakir and Imam Yusef Estes among others.

Dr. Shakir's lecture was about depression and emotional health. I thought that was interesting, because this topic is seldom discussed at Islamic Conferences. He said that when one makes sujood it relieves tension and depression. He said that pressing the forehead to the ground massages your brain and relieves tension. I found this interesting, as I always feel somewhat relieved after doing a long sujood. You should give it a try. It can be vary relaxing.

There were also vendors at the conference. I was able to find a great Qur'an recitation software for only $10!!! It has the entire Qur'an, and when you highlight a certain ayat, or group of ayah, it will recite them over and over. So, you learn by repetition. Isn't that great?! I think I may attend the conference tomorrow also, inshallah...

29 Weeks and Counting (TMI ALERT)

2005-11-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up for Fajr. I prayed and read some ayat-ul-Quran. Reading Qur’an after fajr prayer always makes me feel an inner peace, as though I am starting my day the way I am meant to. I then ran to the bathroom and promptly began to throw-up. I leaned over the sink, as I couldn’t make it to the toilet in time (and besides leaning over the toilet just makes the whole experience more demeaning).

Anyway, as my stomach emptied itself of its meager contents, I thought to myself, “I would really rather not be doing this right now. In fact, this is the very last thing I would like to be doing.” And then it occurred to me that what I want truly doesn’t matter anymore. I hadn’t eaten anything yet, and the content of my stomach consisted of nothing more than vile, yellowish, sour tasting stomach acid. Needless to say this concoction burned my throat and made me cry. I began to silently recite Ayat-ul-Kursi. This ayat always makes me calmer, if nothing else.

Soon, I was done. I drank some cold tap water and sat on the toilet. I began to think to myself…why had I become pregnant? Why had I let my body be taken over this way? It seemed rather stupid of me. THEN, my baby began to kick at my ribs. Sounds silly, but I felt as though my unborn child was trying to comfort me from the womb. And in that moment…it almost…almost seemed worth it.

Hmm...

2005-11-19T15:47:00.000-08:00

During early pregnany, your baby's development is nothing short of remarkable...About the fourth month or so of your pregnancy, you feel the flutter...it's the revelation of new life. Your body changes to meet your babies needs. There's the swelling readiness of your breasts, the expanding cradle of your womb. You are beatiful, as lovely as a tree that is heavy with fruit.--The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

Yes it's true...but I didn't know watermelons grow on trees...

Make Du'ah...

2005-11-16T14:48:00.000-08:00

Fall colors....

Inshallah, we may have found a new home.
It is in a very safe and quiet neighborhood. Well, at this point anything would appear safe and quiet, huh?? Anyway, it is a cute little home, and I hope that everything works out. Make du'ah for us, inshallah.

Lovely...isn't it??

Anyway, while we were looking at the house, we went in the backyard, and guess what I saw? Three kittens playing in the yard! They were soo cute. One was this tabby, one was black, and the other was gray. The gray one looked like a little wolf. I wanted to take a pic, but the grass was too high, but trust me, they were adorable. I think they belong to someone. If I thought they were strays, I would have taken one on the spot...I have a soft spot in my heart for kittens and all things cute and cuddly.

Looking at Emmitt Till--Glaring at New Orleans

2005-11-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

Looking at Emmett Till—Glaring at New Orleans

In his essay, John E Wideman speaks about the horrible 1955 murder of Emmett Till. Growing up an African-American, I also grew up aware of the horrific dehumanization of Emmett Till. I have also seen his picture, long ago in a documentary. However, unlike Wideman, the picture never “haunted” me. I suppose I grew up feeling “safe.” My parents instilled in me a feeling of self-worth and shielded me from most of the realities of present day racism. I guess I grew up believing that the days of lynching, disregard for black life, and blatant bigotry were over…and then hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.

One day, several days after Katrina hit New Orleans, I sat watching the news. I found myself near tears, as I watched footage of the filthy conditions in and around the Super Dome. I continued to watch as they showed a young mother holding her infant child, and joining in a chant. “We need help,” was the crowd’s chorus. I felt as though I was viewing conditions in a developing nation. Could this be America? Could this be the very city that I had grown up in?

I began to vent to a friend of mine from New Orleans, over the internet. I can’t believe what’s going on over there, I typed. Can’t they get them out of there any
faster than this???

Don’t you get it, he replied, they don’t care about those people. This whole thing is racist!!!

Racist? The thought that race was the reason why the authorities weren’t coping with the Katrina faster had never crossed my mind.

Do you really think that they are leaving them there because they are black?? I felt incredulous.

Yes, he replied. Yes I do.

My friend’s comments stayed with me throughout the day, and continue to cross my mind from time to time. You see, my friend is Lebanese. He is gray in a country of white and black. I felt hopelessly naïve. In his essay Wideman writes, “Emmett Till dies again and again because his murder, the conditions that ensure and perpetuate it, have not been honestly examined. Denial is more acceptable to the majority of Americans than placing themselves, their inherited dominance, at risk” (33).

Immediately following Katrina, many reports came out of New Orleans about some blacks there developing a mob mentality, raping and looting in the streets. The New Orleans Police superintendent was quoted as stating, “"The tourists are walking around there, and as soon as these individuals see them, they're being preyed upon. They are beating. They are raping them in the streets."[1] However these reports later proved to be unfounded. Later the superintendent stated, “"We have no official reports to document any murder. Not one official report of rape or sexual assault." There is another example that was shown on television. The host showed one picture of a white couple taking food and supplies from a store and the caption said, “Couple takes supplies from store.” The host compared this picture to another that showed blacks taking from a store and that picture referred to the act as “looting.” As Wideman questions, “Does a photo document or fabricate an event? Is life composed of facts or a constructed fiction?”(47)

In the days following Katrina, the reality of some of the cities poorest inhabitants left to sit in their own filth for days was transformed. Instead of feeling sorry for these poor souls, many in the media twisted the truth and painted a none-to-pretty picture of petty violence, rape, and mass hysteria, where there was none. In the days following Katrina one might be lead to think, as Wideman states sarcastically, “Hey maybe black people really ain’t worth shit, just like you’ve been hearing your whole life”(36).

Many people died during and after Katrina. At least some deaths can be contributed to the slow response. It saddens me that for a moment in time lives were so “expenendable.”
As Wideman states, “Young black boys [ and woman and children] are still being cut down as relentlessly as Till’s murderers cut short his life—nobody’s fault, everybody’s fault a deep, deep fault that remains in our national psyche” (46).

No one knows if the response to Katrina would have been better if the victims had not been poor and black. All we can do is speculate and conjecture. However, as I read Wideman’s essay, this is all I could think about. I don’t know why many people, including my sister, where left without food and water for days. What I DO know is that this incident is a national shame, and as such it deserves to be examined, written about and, most importantly, not forgotten.

[1] Katrina: Rumors, Lies, and Racist Fantasies By Slavoj Zizek, In These Times. Posted October 31, 2005. http://www.alternet.org/katrina/27442/

house woes

2005-11-12T00:29:00.000-08:00

OK...so here I am in Atlanta. Jibril and I are looking for a house asap b/c the apartment we are in is horrible. I do not even want to get into all the things wrong with this place. When we first got here we stayed in a hotel for two weeks and we had to find a place soon, or we would have had to start paying for a hotel room.
When they first showed us a sample apt, it was sooo cute. Nice carpet, fresh paint, great kitchen cabinets etc. I was so excited. Then we come to move in, and the apt they tried to put us in was just GROSS. There were huge stains and cigarrette burns in the carpet. The bathroom floor was all cracked and dirty, the kitchen cabinets had a huge hole going right through one of them...let's just say I was NOT happy.
I was already upset about the whole situation, and let's just say the black woman came out of me that day. The rage of my ancestors was unleashed on those folks. So, they fixed all the VISIBLE damage, new carpet, new linoleum, a patch on the cabinet. Then I discover new problems. Pests of the four-legged and two-legged variety. That's right...nasty roaches...and disgusting humans. I am really about to go insane in this place.
Anyway, this week we went looking at townhouses, and I think we found a keeper. It is sooo cute. It is soo clean and nice. It has 2 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. The neighborhood is so quiet. Well, I guess anything would look good to me right about now ;-) I really hope we are able to get it, inshallah. Just pray that this works out for me.

well...in Atlanta

2005-11-08T00:12:00.000-08:00

Well...I thought I would start this BLOG to help me sort out all of the changes that have been happening in my life in the last few months. As you might know, I am currently residing in Atlanta, Ga. Like nearly everyone else I know, I have left New Orleans for the time being...i'm sure you know why...Katrina. My home will have to be demolished. I was not able to salvage anything, and I won't be going back anytime soon.

As you may also know, I am ~26 weeks pregnant. Which means I have less than 100 days to go b4 the big day. Things have been so hectic. I have really had to rely on Allah to keep me strong. I am surprised that I am not bald already from yanking out my hair. I just feel this inner strength in myself, that I never knew I had. I feel something in me saying, "ok Amani, you have to keep yourself togther for the your baby."

I am hoping to add some belly pics and pics of Atlanta soon. Keep checking back.

Amani

Something to Smile About!

2005-05-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

Well, as I mention before, I have been trying to get a grassroots groups of the ground. The group is dedicated to new Muslimas and non-Muslim women looking to learn more about Islam.
I was finally able to order a large amount of Islamic books. They include:
A whole bunch of Qur'ans!!
The Beginner's Book of Salah
Elementary Teachings of Islam
The Noble Woman
The Muslim Woman's Handbook
The Major Sins, etc...
I can't wait until they arrive. I am trying to put together little packages that can be given to new Muslimas that include all the essentials. My next purchase for the group will probably be a bunch of Hijabs and prayer rugs. It's just so hard to find them at low cost. I really hope that this group grows and thrives and that Allah(swt) blesses all that help with its projects and that we are able to reach anyone who is seeking that right path...ameen.

My role as a Muslim(a)

2005-04-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I attended an Islamic conference this Saturday for the group MAS. I found the majority of the lectures to be very well presented. The speakers included Mahdi Bray, Dr. Souhail Ghanouchi, Main Al-Qudah, and Dr. Mahmoud Sarmini. Some of the speakers are local Imams and leaders in our community. But Mahdi Bray is a very prominent speaker and Souhail Ghanouchi is the President of MAS National.
I was really excited about Mahdi Bray's talk. It was really all about grassroots efforts that Muslims can start or join in on. He gave great examples like joining anti-gambling or children's rights coalitions. I, for one, am thinking of joining in on some of those. It also made me feel really good about this group that I am trying to get off the ground.
Anyhoo, another lecture that was given was, shall I say, less then enlightening. It really made my blood boil. The speaker was talking about gender interactions. He basically said that a woman should not leave her home unless there is a NEED to do so. He also said that men and women should not be in places such as classrooms, universities, masajid, etc in a proximity where they can see or hear each other. Here are the things that I found wrong with his lecture:
a) A conference is not the place to go into such an issue. A halaqa or a khutbah would be a much better setting. If he did choose to go into this issue at the conference, then he should have presented the way that ALL the madhhabs view the issue.

b) I refuse to listen to anyone that feels that I am committing something haram if I want to take my kids to Chuck E. Cheese(when I am blessed with kids, inshallah). Is there a NEED to go to Chuck E. Cheese? No, but I will go there whenever I feel like it as long as I cover myself properly and observe proper adab.

c) Why is so much emphasis placed on women? I'm sorry but, let's say that every Muslim woman stays at home 24/7. Then our brothers will have to go shopping, pick the kids up from school, etc etc. That means that our Muslim brothers will have to spend much more time outside of the home where they will be faced with the numerous kufar women and we all know how they dress in the middle of the summer. If Muslim women should only go out when necessary, then or Muslim brothers should as well. It really burns me about that many Shoyook place all of their emphasis on the sisters and little to none on the brothers. I mean the hijab is mandatory, but last I checked many Ulama feel that the beard is as well.

d) The lecture's Q & A session lacked adab. The speaker told one sister, who happens to be my friend and co-worker, that she should be quiet and read more books(paraphrasing). If he did not agree with what she was saying he could have handled it in a much better fashion. Grrr.

Well, I guess MAS will not be seeing me as a member anytime soon. Although I have other issues with the group(I also went to their Central Annual Meeting in Kansas City last year), this really takes the cake. Although, I really do appreciate them putting on such an event free of charge(even the food), I hop that their next local conference will be a little less controversial.

interesting article about polygny in America

2005-04-05T19:54:00.000-07:00

Here is an excerpt from an article I read the other day on Muslim Writers Society

"....American Muslim men on the other hand, were openly dating, having big weddings with impregnated girlfriends, and explaining away sexual misconduct as a sin forgived of men by Allah. Such men operated often without impunity in the community. Eventually every masjid had a couple not legally married or a brother with another wife. This was usually a non-muslim girlfriend met at school or a nightclub, imposed upon the muslim wife..." from Outrageous Practices of Polygyny by ummilkhayir

I know that to many who read this excerpt it may sound ridiculous. I mean, many close their eyes to some of the ails of the Muslim-American community. Growing an American Muslim, I have seen some of the things that author has described first-hand. In our community there was a man with two wives, although in this case both of the sisters were good muslimas, however the brother did not work, and had both of his wives supporting him!! He did nothing while the two women paid the bills. It was like he was stuck in some 1970s blacksploitation flick. Somehow he though he was a "playa."
On the other hand, there are many Muslim men, who have girlfriends. Once everyone begins to talk about their open acts of Zina they marry the women. Often, the men teach the converted wives very little about Islam, except (of course) that they must wear Hijab. Thereby the women simply assume the role of a devout wive, while knowing very little about the Qur'an, Sunnah, or Islamic Adab.
My mother always taught me never to sell myself short. Just as my husband has rights over me, I too have rights over him. It's not that I am condemning Polygny, it is allowed in our religion, however it must be done the correct way. The man must have the ability to fully support both wives equally. That includes not just money, but also time spent together. I believe that a polygynous relationship can be a truly beautiful thing, IF both women agree to the relationship, and the husband is willing to bust his butt taking care of them.

Terry

2005-04-03T16:17:00.000-07:00

Well, Terry Schaivo died recently, and I've been thinking about it a lot. I mean it's all over the news. I had to confront where I stand. According to Islamic Jurisprudence you're not considered dead until your heart stops beating or your brainstem dies. This was not the case with Schaivo, so Islamically she should have been kept alive until she died naturally.
However, something else about the Terry Schiavo case plagues me. Would anyone know if I died? Would anyone care if it was an African-American lady? A Hispanic male? A young Arab child? Everyday thousands starve to death, not becuase they're in a "persistent vegitative state," but becuase they simply don't have enough food. I read the other day that a few decades ago there was a major famine in Bengaldesh. Thousands died. And do you know what Britain was doing in? Importing grain FROM Bengladesh and into England. There's really something wrong with a society that mourns the loss of one, but turns their back on the loss of many.